#1 is 10!!!

Yes folks 10 years ago today at about this time I was being checked out of the hospital so that I could go across the street to the other hospital in order to finally get a really good look at my first born who unfortunately had to stay a week and a day in the NICU before coming home. She was a cutie. Still is for that matter. But don't tell her I said that, she prefers being referred to as cool instead of cute. I have tried to find a way to combine the two words so that both of us are happy, but I just haven't hit on an acceptable combination yet.

#1 is something. She sure has come a long way after having such a rocky and absolutely terrifying beginning to her life.

Let me tell you a little bit about her....

She is S-M-A-R-T Smart! Straight A's since she has begun to receive letter grades. She loves to learn that one! Her intelligence is noticeable right away. People who don't know her usually comment about her intelligence after only a few minutes of conversation with her.

This is a child that is almost never without a book in hand to read. Even if it is a five minute trip to the grocery store, she's gotta have something to read for the drive. Her current reading obsession is Harry Potter. She began the series this summer and I honestly can not tell you how many times she has read them all. I would guess we have reached double digits. We gave her all four movies for her gift today, so now she can obsess over those. She is also following in the footsteps of her father and developing a love for those things geeky, like comic books. Current favorite is Spiderman. (Only appropriate ones of course!)

#1 is no girly girl. No pink. No Barbie. No Bratz. (Thank the dear baby Jesus!) Absolutely positively NO DRESSES!! My girl likes spy gear, anything to do with science, bugs, and most especially butterflies. She can tell you a LOT about butterflies.

This dear child loves animals more than anything. If I would allow it she would have even more pets than she already does. Her room currently houses a hamster, three fish, and two frogs. The dog and cat enjoy spending time in there as well. Soon she will be the proud parent of an undetermined number of Sea Monkeys. She plans to be a vet someday, and I can absolutely see it happening.

Oohhh the imagination. I can not even put it in to words. Thankfully she does and who knows...perhaps she will write novels in between taking care of sick animals.

She loves her younger sister and they can play happily for impressively long periods of time and develop long complicated pretend games that I don't even pretend to try and follow.

She is a Daddy's girl....but has her special things that only Mommy can do.

She is a kind and patient child, and has often befriended those that others will not.

#1 is a complex kid...we like her that way! It is hard sometimes to realize how quickly time is passing, but we look forward to discovering the person she will become.

Now I present the birthday girl!

One down one to go

Birthday party #1 for #1 was a great success today. Though I feel I must mention that 10 fourth graders together and hyped up about a party are L-O-U-D. Really truly brain searing loud. They are also fast. They blew through the party activities in record time, leaving us tapping our watches absolutely certain that they must (GOD PLEASE PLEASE!) be telling the wrong time.

I did make the cupcakes for the party from scratch. They turned out OK. Not raving about them by any means, but fairly tasty. (However it should be noted that #1 felt it her duty to tell me right after the treat eating was finished that her cupcake was dry and as such she did not eat all of it. We had a little tete-a-tete away from the guests about rudeness, and you will be glad to know that I kept my voice at a conversational level for this mini meeting.)

Right now the cake for tomorrow's family party is baking away. Different recipe from the cupcakes and hopefully it will be at the correct level of moistness so as to please the birthday princesses delicate palate.

So here are my Wizard Hat Cupcakes, because the theme of course was Harry Potter!

Unfortunately the force is not with her

This about made me pee I laughed so hard.

B.H. showed me this about a month or so ago, and I just never got around to sharing.

Someday I hope to learn how to embed these videos in my blog instead of simply linking.

Embedding is so much cooler.

Just Keep Swimming.....

Whew!

It has been a big ol' steamin' pile of constant activity here at Chez Us the past few weeks.

Beloved put up his musical production for the year at the high school where he teaches, and it was a great success. That of course has meant I have been a single parent while he put in a gazillion hours working, hence the lack of blog postings. Well...that and obsessively watching the 7th season of the Gilmore Girls on DVD. That takes up a lot of a girl's time.

The musical wrapped up just in time for Thanksgiving preparations for the huge masses of people that rained down on our home. We clocked in just over 30 people this year I believe. I chronicled my cooking adventures in earlier posts as you are likely aware. I was gravely disappointed to see that I was the only family member to actually bake pies this year. We had a boatload of pumpkin and pecan pies purchased from the local Sam's Club. Neither pie is my favorite and I flat out do not like baked goods that come from a grocery store bakery. Not cakes, pies, nuthin'! I am devout about making birthday cakes and decorating them myself such is my dislike of the grocery store bakery. My family members were arguing that the store bought pies were just as good as homemade. Take a guess which pies went first come desert time????? Harrumph! I did not gloat to anyone except BH after everyone left. I have that much restraint. Barely.

While I have negelected my own blog recently I have kept up my devout perusal of other people's musings. Lot's of interesting things going on in the blogs that I read lately. Some have given me some food for thought. One particular day or maybe it was over a few days I seemed to be reading a lot of posts about Stay At Home Mothers (SAHM). Most of those posts seemed to be about guilt, or justification. I thought I would put in my two cents here speaking as a Working Away From Home Mother (WAFHM...I really wanted an acronym! There is probably an official one out there but I am woefully uninformed if there is.) My two cents is this: Stop feeling guilty and stop feeling that you have to justify what you are doing. Because you don't have to and shouldn't do either of those things. More parents need to spend more time with their children. There is no guilt or shame in that. That time is especially crucial the first five years of life for a child.

I will not lie and tell you that I did not get a little pissy reading about this topic. I did get a little pissy and it has everything to do with jealousy and I recognize that and own it completely. If it were possible for me and my family I would walk away from my job right now, but it isn't so there is no point in "going there" as the kids say. My initial thoughts were, "Guilt?? I'll give you guilt!! Try coming home after working for 8+ hours to kids who just want to play and have some attention from you, and have every right to expect that attention but you just snap at them and start cracking the whip as soon as you walk through the door because you have dinner, chores, homework, reading aloud, showers, hair drying, violin practice, lunches to make, and God knows what else to accomplish in the two and half hours before the children must be in bed to get the prescribed amount of sleep to keep them healthy and happy. All the while knowing (because you are a professional who deals with children and what is best for them and their mental health) that you are not being the best mom you should be, but what do you let go of? Homework has to be done, people have to eat and be clean and..and...." then I got overwhelmed and had to stop thinking.

So SAHM's embrace your situation! Celebrate it! Hats off to you from me! Wish I could wear your hat too!

I think that is all I have to say about that.

In other news....my pie baking seems to have set off a very strong desire to bake within me. This is good because I have much baking in my future. #1 turns....GULP....I don't know if I can type this.....ok....here goes....10...YIKES!!! On Sunday. That means one cake (I am going totally from scratch this year!!!) Cupcakes (yup...going for the from scratch on those too!) and a batch of cookies. Speaking of cookies I made some kick ass peanut butter chocolate chip cookies on Saturday. Got the recipe from my Ghiradelli Chocolate Cookbook. Yuh-HUM!

Alrighty I think I have ranted enough for now. Hopefully I can come up with something interesting to say with more frequency over the next month.

Ta!

update

Ok so the pie count now stands at 3 pumpkin and 1 cherry pie that feels like it weighs 50 lbs and was baked in a 9x13 pan. I am blaming the weight on my stoneware pan. (I am pretty sure I have enough filling left to make at least one more 9 inch cherry pie, alas I have run out of ingredients for pie crust and don't feel like making a third trip to the store in two days.)

Yet to be cooked:
1 23 lb turkey
2 big pans of hashbrown casserole

That turkey weight is no typo either. I have about 30 people converging on my home tomorrow. We have another turkey and a ham that will be brought over. In my family there seems to be no such thing as too much meat, starch (I believe there will be at least three different types of potatoes not to mention the homemade noodles), and dessert.

Again I share because I thought you would want to know. Or maybe I just need to vent. Who knows, I am tired after spending so much time in the kitchen. Nice to cook though I must admit. I need to improve my pie crust skills.

Pie Countdown

The count so far:


1 pumpkin down


2 more pumpkin, and an undetermined number of cherry pies to go. (To give you an idea, I have about 3/4 of a stock pot full of cherry pie filling. This recipe takes 8 cans of cherries people. 8 CANS!!! I think I just may use of cake pan for one of the pies or I will be up until next Thanksgiving making them all, and I think I only have three pie pans left.)


Because I thought you should know.

Get in the giving spirit

Check this out. Rather apporopriate for the upcoming holidays I thought.

More later this week.

Crazy busy here.

Many thoughts running around my head that I hope to organize and put into writing soon.

A Little Trivia, a Little Anarchy

Today as I was on my way home for lunch I learned that today was the anniversary of the Sex Pistols first time on stage in 1975.

Apparently getting on stage was all there was to it, they were booed off before they even got to play a note.


So I say in honor of this historic day, go out and get your punk on and explore a little anarchy!


Or at the very least dig out that old copy of a copy of Nevermind the Bollocks and have a listen.

What you get when

Two children trick or treat for an hour:

That is my large sized mixing bowl. If you think I haven't been dipping my hot little hands in that bowl which contains mostly chocolate just about every time I walk past it, then I have not done a good job sharing with you my powerlessness against all things chocolaty.

I have to go get on the treadmill now and will need to stay on it until tomorrow morning.

I just may start drinkin' and this is boring...

Yeeeaaaahhhh......

Pretty much all I have to talk about is what is coming out of this germ factory formerly known as Chez Us.

So for the past two weeks we had the stomach ick making it's way through.

This week it's STREP!

Good ol' #2 is having her annual bout a little early this year. In reality though.... strep was far better news than what we took her to the minor med clinic for in the first place. We were fearful that she had broken her arm after a fall this morning at church, and I just decided to have them take a gander in her throat since she had been complaining of a sore throat for a day or two. Also I thought it might be a good idea to mention that sore throat when they took her temp and it was 101. What with the arm pain and all they did not subject her\us to a throat culture which was mightly kindly I thought, especially since all signs point to strep, we've had it enough around here to know the deal. Luckily the arm is just a sprain. Ace bandage and no wrestling or other such activities for a week.

Now I must leave you to hang a red cross on the door or whatever sign it is you are supposed to use when your home is nothing but a host for sickly germs.

Perhaps next week I will have something other than illness reports to entertain you.

I am really hoping there is something besides illness around her to entertain ME.

Happy Hallow...zzzzz....zzzzz

Get kids in costume

Parade.

Party.

Clean up party.

Clean House.

Visit relatives.

Trick or Treat.

Get kids ready for bed.

Clean up house.

Read blo...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Question posed to my daughters this morning:

"So do the two of you get together at night when we think you are sleeping and devise a schedule for who is grouchy at different times during the morning?"

Ummm...I would like to file a complaint please

OK. So last week #2 has this weird stomach-flu thing that involved her barfing once a day (always at night around 11-12) being ok for a day, then barfing again. We had this Saturday-Friday last week. No fever just vomit.

Tonight it apparently strikes #1. I am sure there are those out there who would say I am nuts given what I am about to say, but I am gonna say it anyway.

Why the hell can't they both be sick at the same time? My kids do this with every illness they pass around and it sucks. Instead of a week of illness we get two, sometimes 4 if BH and I get it too. I would far rather get it all over with at once then have this dragging it out forever shit.

Oh yeah....let us not forget that we are but a couple of days from Halloween.

If someone else was going to get this crap I was kind of hoping it would be me and that it would strike tomorrow night and then I could possibly get out of testifying in court this week. I hate it when I have to do that.

Can you get out of testifying if you are puking your guts out?

Because we all need something...

Here is something fun!

Pumpkin carving without the mess!

But no seeds to roast.

There was frost on my windshield this morning

So I heard the other day that Sam Brownback has decided to withdraw from the presidential race.

My response: Sam Brownback was in the presidential race????

In all seriousness I was glad to hear that news. I never thought he had a snowball's chance in hell, but that is at least one less Massive Scary Conservative to deal with.

So I thought........

Rumor has it he plans to run for Governor of Kansas in 2010.

That gives me the shivers, because the potential for that win is definitely present.

It would really suck if he won, because I detest moving.

If it gets to that I will be taking suggestions on desirable locations.


In other news....
So say you have a child and that child wakes up in the middle of the night and throws up. Said child is low key the following day, but no fever and no further vomiting episodes. The second day after the first episode, the child seems fine. That night the child wakes up and vomits again. No more episodes the rest of the evening, and seems fine if not downright chipper the next day.

So what is up with that!?

And So it Begins

First illness of the cold and flu season has struck, at approximately 12:30 AM CST with a barfing #2. I think that is enough on that topic.

The trip to Chicago was really quite good despite my concerns. The kids were really well behaved, didn't get in to much mishchief and were where they were supposed to be when they were supposed to be.

Our visit consisted of a trip to the Art Institute that was far FAR too short. We got to see the Gates of Paradise on their last day their which was pretty cool. Highlights for me were the Impressionist Gallery, On the Beach, and the Thorne Miniature Room which I came upon kind of by accident. I could have easily spent the entire day at the Institute and was reluctant to leave.

But leave I had to do as we had tickets to see Wicked. I am not much of one for the musicals, but this was a very enjoyable show and I liked it enough to consider seeing it again. The Ford Theatre was quite beautiful too I must say. Unfortunately I was not able to take pictures.

After Wicked we walked over to the Navy Pier which was pretty touristy, but some great views of the lake were to be found as well as gorgeous night time views of the Chicago skyline. There was a stained glass museum there that was pretty interesting too.

The trip was short but I felt like we got to see/do a pretty fair amount of good stuff for the time we were there. Also it was a low to no drama experience which is exactly what we were hoping for.

That pretty much sums up the Chicago trip, ooh except that we found a Boudin's and got some of their delicious fresh sourdough bread. So yummy!

I still have not had a chance to deal with pictures from the trip, so that will have to be a post for another day.

Now I must be off to read a sick girl some stories, and continue my efforts to catch up after the trip. Still so far far away....

I have returned

We made it back to our house at about 9:00 last night.
So I am tired and have much catching up to do.

In truth I probably won't catch up this week, but I can guaran-damn-tee that I will drive myself bloody well insane trying to do so.

Maybe next week I will post some pitchurs of what we did and maybe even tell you about it too.

This of course is all dependent on my not being admitted to the loony bin this week.

Hello my name is Missy and I have control issues

B.H. and I are preparing for a trip to Chicago this weekend.

"Oh, how romantic and fun!" You might be thinking.

Romantic...not much chance. Fun....well I hope so.

You see we will be joined by about 80+ high school students and a handful of adults.

Did I mention that we will be traveling there on a bus?

So now you can see where the romance went, and perhaps you also get why I am not convinced that fun will be part of this trip either.

When B.H. first told me of this proposed trip for his students my immediate reaction was don't think even for a MINUTE that I will not be joining you for this trip. Travel doesn't happen often around here and when it does it usually is for purposes of visiting family. While enjoyable, not particularly adventurous. I was taken in by the idea of seeing Wicked, and going to groovy museums and dare I hope...shopping??

I will get to do all of those things. I am happy about that, and sure that I will enjoy it.

In the past day or so however I have begun to consider the realities of the trip, and in so doing have begun to question the wisdom of my insistence upon joining in this venture.

Now I may have mentioned this before.....but I like to plan things. I usually think my way of planning is the best choice for all involved. Sometimes this is a good thing.

Sometimes it is not.

It has just occurred to me that I will be following someone else's plans and schedule for this entire trip.

Despite how much I may want to alter the plans I will be unable to do so.

Also...I am going to be on a bus full of people I don't know for approximately 24 hours total by the time all is said and done. 24 hours. On. A. Bus.

Dear Lord what I have I gotten myself in to?

If I had thought of these things a few months ago, I am not sure I would have been so insistent on going.

In truth this may be good for me. There are those who might say it would be good for me to lighten up a bit, let go of the steering wheel so to speak. Being around others will be good. My social life has dwindled to a virtual halt over the past few years..but that I suppose is a post for another day. So let's leave it at....it will be good for me to exercise social skills that I fear I have completely lost due to my lack of socializing with grownups in particular.

I am trying to maintain a positive attitude.

I am also trying to think of how I can occupy myself on a really long ass bus ride.

Any suggestions?

Could you add one more thing to those thoughts?

Calm children. There will be about 10 of them in my house tomorrow.

There is a 70% chance of Thunderstorms tomorrow.

So they will likely be inside the house the entire time.

The whole time.

All 10 of them.

Ages 11 and under.

Oy.
Vey.

A little twitchy

When I was a kid, EVERY Sunday we would go over to my grandmother's house for dinner with the rest of my family. Sometime around the time I was about 10 years old, they stopped for some reason that I can not recall 25 years later. For a while now I have been saying that we should try to re-instate the Sunday dinner. Not every Sunday, but perhaps once a month, and not a roast dinner every time either. That was what we had E-V-E-R-Y Sunday. Lately those of us in my large and sprawling family have been reminiscing about the food and desserts my grandmother used to make. My grandmother has serious arthritis and suffered a stroke about 6 years ago as a result just can not stand up in the kitchen long enough to bake and cook like she used too. We have all been very sad about that for a long time.

SOOooo, finally last week I got up off my butt and made arrangements to start this Sunday dinner thing back up once and for all. The idea has been met with much enthusiasm. My goal for the next year or so is to learn how to make the cakes, pies and other assorted baked yummies that my grandma used to make. On our birthdays every year she would make each person in the family their favorite pie or cake. My grandma was not much of one for recipes, and she is not getting younger, so I have to start now, and have her dictate while I do the work and write down those recipes that have not been written down.

This is a long winded way of getting to why I am a little twitchy. Tomorrow is the first dinner, the menu is Chicken and Dumplings (the home made roast a chicken roll out the dumplings kind) salad, rolls, green beans, Fresh Apple Cake, and Cherry Dessert. There might be a couple of other things too, but I can't recall them now because they are not my responsibility. I am providing dessert and the house. I feel that is a plenty. Now these desserts are REVERED in my family and I have never made them before. It has been a long time since anyone has had them so there has been a lot of time for memories of how wonderful they were to build to out of control proportions. The fresh apple cake is baking as I type. It is taking every thing I have not to cut a slice and take it to my mother's house to make sure it is ok. (This cake is not my favorite, so I am no judge. That is also why we are having cherry dessert. Cream Cheese, Dream Whip, Cherry pie filling. Just hand me a spoon people.)

So think good food thoughts for me people. I got a tough audience tomorrow.

Musical Prodigy?

So I am listening to #1 practice her violin right now, and it is not painful.

Of course one pleasing to the ear practice equals child prodigy.

No one could ever accuse me of failing to be a proud parent!

Another doozy from #2

So we are in the car on the way home from tennis lessons this morning, and as is all to common for my personal liking these days, the children are refusing to accept an answer we have given them to some question.

In exasperation I ask why they continue ask, when an answer has been provided.

#2's response: We can't understand what you say because you don't speak kid.

Anybody else see scary things in our future?

This post is for girls

Dontcha hate it when you blow the underwire out of your favorite bra in the middle of a day at work that is so busy you can't go home and trade out?

Felt like I had one tit flapping in the wind and it would occasionally get caught on something sharp.

Now I have to find a NEW favorite bra and you all know that is not easily accomplished.

Damnit.

If I had a million dollars....

#2 informed us last night that if she were to find a pirate's treasure chest full of gold she would go out to buy a guinea pig and a limo with a hot tub.

#1 snorted and kept reading her book.

It is important to know how you would spend pirate treasure should the occasion present itself.

Did YOU hear it?

Yup we had a strong one blow through here tonight.

I ain't talkin' about a storm either.

At least not one of the mother nature type storms.

Folks we had us a screamin' tantrum blow through here this evening.

I am sure that all of you regardless of your location were wondering who it was screaming, "I WANT MY MUSIC!!!!!!!" repetitively at about 8:30 CST.

Let me solve that mystery for you. It was #2 coming to you live from Chez Us.

Good times.

It was just how I hoped to spend my evening at home after a very LONG day in class.

Awesome.

A Recommendation

I love to read.

It's true!

It is not often that I will make a book recommendation, but I have decided that I am going to go out on a limb today.

I am not going to recommend just one book my friend(s) but an entire series of books.

B.H. got me started on this series a few years ago. The intended audience is young adults. If my memory serves me correctly he read the first book in the series so that he could create an Accelerated Reader test for one of his students. After reading and enjoying the book immensely he passed it on to me and I devoured it in about 2 hours or so I think. After I proclaimed my love for these books, he made an arrangement with the librarian where he was teaching at the time to bring the books home to me as soon as she got a new one in. (It pays to have connections!)

Now that I have given you a rather long winded history on how I got started with the series I will give you the name. Here at Chez US we affectionately refer to the series as the "Georgia Books." The author is Louise Rennison. In a nutshell the books are written as diary entries from a teen-aged girl living in England, and they are funny. I have laughed out loud numerous times while reading each book. There are currently 8 books in the series.

I highly recommend that you start on these books at your earliest convenience. Don't be turned off by the Young Adult thing. As an adult I promise you will find them funny. I wouldn't recommend them for anyone younger than high school age. The first book is titled: Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging

Go get one. Soon. You won't be sorry!

Now I am really grouchy

Overlooked in the best drama category too?

The academy can bite me.

Unbelievable!

How can they not give my Hugh the Emmy? HOW!!! I demand a recount!!! I will offer Hugh my ample bosom for comforting purposes.

In other unbelievable news...Crazy Lacey was eliminated!!! Now it is down to Heather and Jes.

I vote for Jes.

Now I must leave you to continue the TV gorgefest I have been indulging in all evening.

Full Disclosure (I know Ali will understand)

Now the two of you who have been reading this blog since it's birth nearly three years ago know that BH and I don't watch a lot of stuff on TV. We typically wait until a show has been released on DVD and then gorge ourselves watching an entire season in two days.

As you know we upgraded our cable a few months ago. We may be watching slightly more now than we were before, but usually that time is just replacing time that we previously spent wasting away browsing the internet. Now that school has begun again TV time is about back to it's usual quantaties for us.

For the past few years there have only been about two shows that we made a point to watch every week during the regular TV season, those being Scrubs and The Office. I suspect that will continue with this TV season however House will be added on to the must watch weekly list now that we are caught up. If this weren't the last season for Scrubs and I did not have such a passionate love of Zach Braff....after last season Scrubs may have moved down to the wait until DVD list. That last season was almost painful. I am hoping for full recovery for this year.

But I digress from the point of this post which is all about full disclosure, and that means I have to fess up about one more show that has some how made it to the watch every week list.

Ohhh friends this is painful.

OK...here it goes.

Each week on Sunday at 10:00 PM CST.. BH and I clear the calendar so that we are available to watch...OH God I can't believe I am going to admit it...........Rock.Of.Love.

Yes dear friends we don't miss the weekly installment about Bret Michaels search for a true love that can handle the power of his immense Rock 'n Roll fame.....the one woman who can in his own words...."Rock his world."

What is it that draws us back week after week? Is it to see what scheme crazy Lacey has come up with this week to insure world roking dominance? To root for our favorite girl Jes? The spectacular array of patent leather animal print dusters that come out only on elimination night? The desire to see if Bret EVER is without a bandana?

I can not answer to which one reason it is that keeps us coming back. Perhaps it is all of them.

We have been faithful for several weeks now, but only recently are we able to come out and admit that we make time for this show.

The truth will set you free my friends.

PUPPIES!!!!

My cousin's Austrailian Shepperd named Abby had her first litter of puppies about 3 weeks ago. We paid the puppies a visit today and they were so darn cute I thought I ought to share.

Really..... who doesn't love pictures of cute puppies?

Trying out some people knees

Being short is tough!

Proud Mama and Puppy Behinds!

Stuff I don't like

Being awakened at 12:30 in the morning by a tornado siren.

Especially when there is no tornado.

Just wind and rain and lightning and thunder.

So sleeepppyyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

OMG

Lesson previously learned but temporarily forgotten today:

Immediately scoop up all catalogues that come in the mail and place them in the nearest trash recepticle before children see them and spend the rest of the evening discussing ad nauseum all the things they plan to order. Things like 4' tall stuffed giraffes.

I mean... who doesn't need one of those?

I think I need to consult with the spinmaster again

#2 daughter MUST CHILL.

The first month or so of school is always tough for her. I am sure I have blogged about this before but seriously. She is in grave danger of being put out by the curb if she does not have a massive attitude adjustment soon.

Tonight I seriously thought about locking the door once I got in the house, and leaving her outside. I was that done.

#2 is obsessed with buying a Guinea Pig. She has been told that when she has the money she will be allowed to buy one. Her current balance for money that can be spent whenever she chooses?
$1. Cost of a Guinea Pig and all the acoutrements? About $60. How much of her allowance is she allowed to put back for spending at will? $1 a week.

Tonight's upset? All about the Guinea Pig and how I am so mean and have ruined her day because I won't call the parent of a child in her class who claims to have won $10,000 from a Go-gurt contest and is going to share enough money with #2 so that she can get her Guinea Pig. The reason I should call? Why.... the friend gave #2 her phone number. Because of course this story is completely true. I am absolutely and totally unreasonable in my refusal to call this parent I have never met and ask them for Guinea Pig money.

I have put a ban on all discussion regarding Guinea Pigs and their purchase. The jury is out on whether or not I will have to rescind my earlier offer to let her purchase the thing once she has enough money. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think tonight we officially reached crazy with this obsession.

I certainly have reached crazy.

Why can't I come up with spins like that?

Yesterday B.H. and I were in the mood to be out in the great outdoors and do a little easy hiking. B.H. wanted to go out to the nature trails that are located near the Governor's Mansion here in town.

For some reason our lovely children think that this is an horrible, terrible, no good place/way to spend time. Our few forays there have been filled with whining, complaining, and general unpleasantness for all.

However, yesterday B.H. was at the top of his game. He called the children downstairs and instructed them to put on walking shoes, gather up butterfly nets and mason jars because we were headed out on a butterfly hunt. Now my girls would never suggest that catching butterflies and putting them in jars to examine was a poor way to spend some time, so they complied right away pausing only to ask where we were going to hunt to which of course B.H. answered the location was a surprise. What is better than a surprise location?

To shorten the length of this story, a rousing good time was had by all, whining was restricted to the very end of the walk to the car and was easily redirected. No children even thought to ask where we were until the end of the outing, and now of course the Governor's Mansion Nature Trails are the coolest thing ever.

B.H. is officially THE spinmaster.

Politicians should hire his services.

Meanwhile here are some photos:

Crikey! It's a yellow Zippity Do-Dah!

#2's catch of the day

Sign up for B.H.'s course on how to present the "truth" to your children in creative ways will begin soon. I will keep you posted.

A Question

I am wanting to incorporate the use of more enviornmentally friendly cleaning products in my daily life and I want to what you all use and recommend. I have done some researching, but I am interested in opinions and testimonial from real live people who have experience using this stuff.

So bring on the information!

One thing making me happy this troubled week

The 3rd season of House on DVD.

Hugh Laurie....I have no words.

Oy!

I am not sure how today can be only Tuesday, because I am sure that the past two days have atually been the equivalent of at least four and very possibly five days.

Sometimes the inability to discuss my work with anyone except people at work is very frustrating. Yes, you can infer from that statement that much of my current state of mind has to do with work issues.

I guess what I can say is this.... this week if I were to find a magic lamp complete with a wish granting Genie I can not promise that I would not wish for a new profession.

I will get over this I know.. but I wish I would hurry up.

I think I need to go out and do something that has nothing AT ALL to do with children, parents, or other people's problems.

I am as ever open for suggestions.

Conversation with #2

#2: Boy I am looking forward to doing some stretches in gym today.

Me: Oh really?

#2: Yeah, my bones aren't waking up very well today.

Disturbing and Perplexing

I had a rather disturbing dream last night that I attended a political convention of some sort and was propositioned by Bill Clinton.

I don't even know how to respond to that one.

Now my husband thinks I harbor a secret crush.

I may miss ol' Slick Willie being in the Oval Office every now and then (particularly after hearing a horrible and embarrassing speech by the current CIC) but I have never wanted to boink him.

Just not my type.

Now you know.

Oh Yeah?? Well..uhhh...So's Your Face!

This morning my Beloved Husband says to me, "You want to hear something scary?"

The logical part of me knows that the appropriate answer to this question should always be, "No."

However I am a horribly curious person and therefore powerless to give any other answer except, "Yes." Despite the fact that 9 times out of 10 I am sorry for it.

Today was no exception.

Beloved as many of you may know teaches High School. His scary statement to me: "This year's seniors were born the year you graduated from high school!"

My response: "Oh yeah? Well NEXT YEAR's seniors will have been born the same year YOU graduated from high school!"

I am QUEEN of the razor sharp comeback!

Ready or not..

The school year arrived today.

We put the children in a new school this year, and they now attend school in the district where Daddy-O teaches.

It was a tough decision, but in the end one that we felt would be very beneficial in the long run, since they will now be on the same school year schedule as Daddy-O, we like and respect the administration, my children will now go to middle school in 7th grade as opposed to 6th grade, and most importantly for the long run, once they get to high school Daddy-O will be right there teaching and able to keep an eye out for mischief.

There has been much ambiguity around the house with this big change. The responses to school have been rather bi-polar in nature. At one point in the day children are excited and positive about the change, then later in the day teary because they have left good friends behind at the old school.

So today was the first day and the report was partly sunny. Some things are good, better even than the old school, other things... not so much.

Needless to say as "She Who Worries About Most Everything" I will be glad when everyone has settled in.

In the meantime please enjoy this manic portion of the bi-polar reactions that we witnessed this morning before we left for the big day.

Not Ready

I have made a decision.

I am not ready for the school year to begin on Wednesday.

You know if people didn't have to work this shit would be a hell of a lot easier.

I have reached the point once again where I don't have time for my job.

SIGH.

We sure could use a lottery win right about now.

Because I am Crazy like dat

Normally I am one who REALLY REALLY looks forward to the weekends. While overall I like my job, I am pretty darn excited when I don't have to go.

This weekend however I don't think will pass quickly enough.

Why is that? Both of you ask.

Hmm....where shall I start?

1. I decided that I need to add some credentials to my name so I decided to enroll in a course that will allow me to become a registered play therapist. The classes meet in KC one weekend a month (weekend being Friday and Saturday) The classes last from 8:30 AM to 6:30 PM each day of that one weekend a month. That is a damn long day even without the hour plus drive it takes each way. The first class starts tomorrow. I am looking forward to tomorrow's class, because it gets me out of work. After seeing 24 clients this week I am more than ready to sit and learn about therapy as opposed to doing it.

2. I for some reason agreed to keep my niece and nephew (ages 3 and 7 respectively) all night tomorrow and most of the day Saturday. In my defense I did not know when I agreed to this, I would be in KC for the majority of their visit, and once I did find out, I just did not feel right backing out. Thankfully I have a saintly and incredibly easy going husband who was apparently fine with managing all of those children by his lonesome. Likely a part of that willingness was knowing how HUGELY and TREMENDOUSLY I will owe him after this. I think he is off making the list of ways I can pay him back right now.

3. We have a wedding reception to go to Saturday evening in Lawrence. Instead of meeting up in Lawrence as would be sensible I am coming home first so we can all drive out together. Knowing how tired I will be when it is over and how scary the thought of me driving home that far in such a state led to this decision that does not really make sense if you are familiar with Kansas Geography. (Those of you who are not, Lawrence is half way between KC and T-town)

4. I have to play secretary at a meeting on Sunday for the non-profit with which both the Mister and I are involved. I dislike meetings. Intensely. I may have to fake some severe laringytis so that I will not pop off with some (read: numerous) smart ass remarks, as fatigue will contribute to exaggerated irritibility.

I think that is it.

If it isn't I very may well lay my head down here and cry.

Introducing...Toothless Joe!

Look Ma! I got no tooth!!!

Milestone Alert!!

#2 Finally FINALLY lost her first tooth this evening.

There was much excitement as she has been waiting a L-O-N-G time for this to happen. (She is nearly six and a half.)

Second tooth loss is not far behind.

Apparently if it takes a long time for your teeth to fall out they all come out at the same time.

I will try and post some photos of my toothless cutie soon.

Realizing that soon as it relates to photo posting here at Chez Babble means sometime within the next six months.

If you're lucky.

File Under: Things I can NOT fathom

Why why why why why why WHY?

For Ali

Yes that is Corey Feldman.

Yes he is wearing a fur turban.

On purpose it would appear.

Tiiinnyyy Buuuubbbllees

Guess what!

I just got me a new companion for my office.

A pretty blue crowntail male betta.

I have decided to name him Don Ho.

Because he makes tiny bubbles.

Shocking!

Beloved Husband has updated his blog!

No Way!

ChChChCh Changes

So I did a bit more investigating and was able to come up with some different looks. (I do so love to state the obvious!)

Boy there is a lot I could add to this thing if I was so inclined..Polls, Lists of Shit I like/dislike/really don't care about. All kinds of things.

I was really intrigued by the poll thingy, but after all my redecorating I was pretty hard pressed to come up with an interesting question save "how do you like the new look?" and frankly... I know that most of you could give two turds about the format of this thing, so I didn't bother.

I think I have done enough damage for one evening.

Ta!

Redecorating

I am thinking about a new look for the blog.

However I have NO idea what look it is that I want.

Been through the blogger templates and nothing is turning me on there.

I get around the ol' compootur fairly well but I am not savvy enough to create my own stuff.

Hmmmm....

I so should be in bed asleep right now

It is official now I think that I will NEVER go to bed at a reasonable hour. It is time to face facts. Never gonna happen my friends.

I am not in bed yet because I have just spent way more time than I should watching the latest DVD I received from Netflix.

I started watching the Gilmore Girls on DVD several months ago and by golly I am hooked but good now. I have resorted to secretly rearranging the Netflix queue so that I will get my DVD quicker. (Beloved doesn't read this blog anymore right?) I will also apparently stay up ridiculously late watching the entire damn DVD the day I get it. I really need to get a social life or something I guess.

Not much is new around here. #2 is preparing for her very first time to have a friend over to spend the night. The big event takes place tomorrow. I wish I had a video of the little happy dance she does every time she tells me how long it is until the big event. Quite cute and funny I must say. Many plans are in order..swimming...movies...giggling and tremendous amounts of silliness I have no doubt. Not much sleeping will take place to be sure.

#1 apparently is going to take after her mother and become extremely near-sighted. As you may have read around this time last year #1 got her first pair of glasses. She had her annual eye exam yesterday and she already needs a new prescription. Thank the sweet baby Jesus that we can just get new lenses and forgo new frames this time. Pretty sure glasses for #2 are just around the corner. Bullet dodged this year, however she is doing the same thing her sister did at this age and going all 20\20 vision, when she should still be far-sighted. At this rate we are going to have to take out a second mortgage or put the children to work to pay for the vision needs of this family. They are pretty cute, we could probably get a good haul if we put 'em on a corner with a will work for eyewear sign.

Other than that I got nuthin' folks. Quiet times at Chez Us.

V IS FOR VICTORY

I JUST CRUSHED MY HUSBAND IN A GAME OF MONOPOLY THAT ONLY TOOK 30 MINUTES.

I AAAMMM THE CHAAAAMMMPIOOON!!

I AAAMMMM THE CHAAMMPIOONNN!!

YEAH!

!

Reports like this make me so happy.

Return of the Cranky Old Lady

Alright.

It is 11:12 PM on JULY 3, and I am still hearing the constant snap crackle boom of fireworks around the neighborhood.

The same constant noises I have been hearing since the damn things went on sale a week ago.

Enough already for the love of GOD.

I enjoy seeing fireworks. ON JULY 4 from about 9-10:30 PM. After that I have had my fill.

What I want to know is who has the money to buy enough to shoot them off every day for a week?

My kids get $10 each to spend and that is it. We shoot them off when it is dark on July 4. The rest of the area needs to follow my example.

OK then.

I will put the Cranky Old Lady back in her hidey hole for now.

On to more pleasant Fourth of July memories. We are going to go see the big fireworks display here in town this year. It has been several years since we have seen it. The event tends to be crowded with stupid traffic control causing a 15 minute ride home to turn into an hour plus ride home which turns Beloved in to Cranky Old Man. It is usually a decent display, but not worth the hassle. My brother has been so courteous as to move near where the display takes place, so we are able to skirt some of the traffic mess. Hopefully. This is the second year he has been there but our first to attend his bash so we'll see what happens.

The best fireworks display I ever recall seeing has to be the one I saw while on vacation in Colorado Springs as a child. The mountains make a lovely backdrop. Been a long time since I have seen mountains. I think that will be remedied some time in the not TOO distant future. I see a trip to Colorado and it's mountains perhaps next summer, if Beloved gets his way and at this time I see no reason why he shouldn't. Chez Us has not had a true vacation in a few years so I think it's time to go some place different and do vacationy things. Our only trips since a foray to Florida three years ago have been for family obligations, and those have been few and far between.

Well dear reader(s) it is getting late and I should say g'nite.

Have a happy and safe Forfin July.

(Forfin July is what #1 used to call the holiday when she was a wee lass, and the term has stuck with us ever since. Just in case you were wondering.)

My feets have grown!

So I went to buy some sandals this weekend since we have BOGO going on at Payless.

I was at the mall for some other items and decided to hit the Payless there. I tried on a rather cute pair of sandals in what I assumed was my size.

They were too small.

So I tried on a different style in what I was still assuming was my size, because of course the first pair was just a fluke.

Too small.

Apparently my feet have grown, or as my husband suggested they have resized at Payless.

I was confused by this need for a bigger size as one would assume that my other shoes in what I considered my usual size do not seem to be too small.

It is a mystery.

I gotta give props to good ol' Payless. Not only do they have a mean BOGO sale, BUT if the store does not have the shoe you wish to purchase in your size they will call other stores, hold the pair for you at the other store, still give you half off the second pair that is being bought at a different store AND give you an additional $1 off for your trouble. My second pair of sandals was under $4 and it wasn't so much trouble because I was going to the other side of town anyway. Go Payless. Their shoes and selection are much better than they used to be back when I was much younger.

In other news...

I keep having recurring dreams about Zach Braff wanting to be my boyfriend.
Not unpleasant...but weird.

Pictures!

I promised you all some pictures and by golly here they are!

#2 in her new favorite nightie

#1 in her brand spankin' new boots we got for Horse Camp this week.

Enjoy the cuteness that we get to experience on a daily basis.

Dancing Queen

Hello reader(s)!

Oh so much has happened since we last were together.

Where shall I start?

Dance Recital:
Yours truly participated in the yearly dance recital our particular dance studio puts on each year. I got up there and tap danced to a Bon Jovi tune while WEARING a Bon Jovi T-shirt. (I wore jeans too, lest you think we put a Risky Business twist on the ordeal). I didn't die from the exposure either. Never been a Bon Jovi fan so I am glad to be done with it. Y'all who have been readin' for a while know that ol' Missy gets picky about music sometimes.

Garage Sale:
Been planning on and pulling junk out for one of these almost a year now and finally got it done. Made about a $100 bucks. Kiddoes made out like bandits selling lemonade, bottled water, stuffed animals, and their old playhouse.

Saw a grown-up movie:
Took some of the cash from the abovementioned sale and went out to dinner and saw Knocked-Up. Enjoyable movie. Would have been even more enjoyable had we not been concerned about the family with children who were ohhhhh about 6-9 years old behind us. Much material that is inappropriate for children in this movie. Please note: If you are having to tell your child to cover eyes and ears every few minutes....probably not a good choice for a family outing.

Got a new camera:
7.1 megapixels, image stabilization, bells, whistles, and DUCT TAPE FREE. Soon as I get software and etc loaded I hope to post a few pictures.

That's all for now folks!

Heh heh...donkeyballs

Mops , brushes, poison.
Cleaning house sucks donkeyballs
and dries out your hands.

(From Haiku Mama)

This poem illustrates a few of the several reasons I invite the fairies to my house once a month.

One of the reasons I chose to share this particular Haiku is because I apparently am channeling my inner 12 year old boy tonight as the word donkeyballs has been making me giggle like one gone mad.

A little Haiku

From the book Haiku Mama (because 17 syllables is all you have time to read)

Like a badge of honor
our spreading hips unite us
asstacular moms.

I share because I have decided that asstacular is my new favorite word.

For anyone who is pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant

Don't want to look like just another pregnant lady why not do this?

Or perhaps this one is more to your taste.

Where were these ideas when I was sporting the gigantic belly?

Probably the same place as all the cute maternity clothes.

Save Now

Yes 'tis another one of my random titles that mean nothing.

So what is new with everyone?

Really. All I ever do on this blog is write about me and mine. It is just all about me me me.

Well tonight I turn over a new leaf. I want you to tell me about well......YOU.

I know you are thinking, "Wow Missy is it possible for you to be this lazy? I mean come ON. I(we) expect you to entertain us, not the other way around."

I prefer not to think of this as laziness but rather....ingenuity. A radical new idea for my blog and blogs everywhere. The reader(s) do all the work.

I think I may be on to something here.

I bet I don't get one comment to this post. Any takers on that bet?

Vigilance is called for

Boy that #2 is just full of interesting comments lately.

Here are 2 count 'em TWO just from today:

This one was directed at Beloved after he enforced the Snow Bear Stays Home Except on Overnight Visits to Someone's House Rule. After moments of pouty silence in the car..."Daddy you just don't have any room in your heart for love."

The next one was directed at me as we walked home from the grocery store. We are walking along and #2 is giving me some love pats on the stomach. Then....."Mommy your tummy looks like you are going to have a baby. I am not trying to say you are fat or anything...but your tummy does look like you could have a baby."

You had best believe I whipped out and completed the Pilates DVD tonight after a vigorous session on the treadmill.

If only she had said something BEFORE I consumed that half carton of Ben and Jerry's after dinner.

In the interest of equal exposure let us discuss #1 for a moment.

She is currently learning how to ride a bike sans training wheels. Yes I do recognize that this is a skill that should have been mastered a few years ago...but you must take in to consideration the fact that she has lazy parents. So stopping is a challenge for her. She tends to just try to jump off the bike instead of using the brakes. Something she comes by naturally. According to legend when I was going through the same learning process instead of stopping using the brakes I would steer in to the grass and jump off. She is making good progress. Only hit one parked car and tonight nearly rode straight on to a busy street. I have learned not to watch as she and Beloved practice. Unfortunately tonight I happened to look up just as she was about to go into the busy street. You probably heard me scream "OH MY GOD" at your house. Regardless of what state you live in. I gotta hand it to #1 once she gets her eye on the prize she sticks with it 'til she takes it home. So I imagine if her parents discontinue their lazy ways and keep up the practice sessions she will be riding in no time. If you see her ask about the Zen practices she uses to help her stop successfully using her brakes. It is facinating.

On a totally random note....check out this CD.

Be sure to listen to the samples. Everyone should have their veryown copy.

The True Meaning of Art

Bonjour Fair Reader(s)!

I know......it has been far too long. Alas my time has been occupied with all the events that seem to come at the end of the school year....more recently preparing for, taking, and returning from a 5 day trip to see Beloved's family in Ohio. That my friends is no small feat in my world. You see when I am preparing to travel my brain is overcome with the idea that if something is forgotten there is no way I can remedy the situation wherever it is I am going. I get some kind of weird amnesia-like syndrome that makes me think there are no stores wherever it is I am going. I'm working on it.

So this post will be short-ish because we just arrived home late this afternoon after spending way too many hours in a car.

I just want to share this little bit of information courtesy of #2.

The other night she was drawing in a journal-type book. I asked her about the artwork and she replied that the book was the true meaning of art. I then asked her what is the true meaning of art? #2 stated that it was hard to explain, but the true meaning of art is doing art the best way that you can in the way that you like.

Works for me.

Happy Mother's Day

To all you mommma's out there...hope you are "honored like you are a queen" as #2 says.

To all you out there who are not momma's...honor the one you have like she is a queen.

Honoring like a queen is easy.

Just bow down to all wishes of the queen-like person.

No big deal.

nope I did not expire

I finally recovered from my ailments. Took longer than I thought it would/should but what are ya gonna do?

Not post on your blog in my case.

Just haven't been feeling it here lately and there is little to share.

My beloved husband did give me an idea, and that should be coming through soon.

In the meantime just thought I would let you both know that I am still among the living.

Now I must go and eat.

Apparently I have pissed off the Goddess of Health and Wellness

Because I know you on the edge wanting the latest update on my health, and seeing as I apparently have a need to vent let me tell you what is up.

Rash.
Covering.
Most.
Of.
My.
Body.

Come ON!

I seem to be developing an allergy to penicillan. How cool is that?

Almost as cool as this rash.

Fever is gone. So hallelujah for that I guess.

So now I wait for a call back from the doctor's office. I am pretty sure I have a day of being doped up on Benadyrl ahead of me. Which is good for all of you becuase it will mean I sleep instead of Blog.
Or if I am really dopey...some interesting blogging may ensue. You never know.

I just hope they call with instructions before the itching starts. Please!

Feel free to put me out of my misery

We are now on Day 3 with the fever, congestion, and general feeling like doo-doo.

My doctor thought it might be a sinus infection and gave me some antibiotics.

Apparently it is viral, as I have been on them for two and half days with minimal improvement.

Although today the fever is not as bothersome as it has been the past two days. I don't know if that is because I am getting better, or just getting used to it. I am going to be optomistic and say it is because I am getting better.

I am so unbelievably bored with lying around that I can hardly take it any more.
I did manage to shower and wash my hair before 10:00 today, for which my family is grateful I am sure. That didn't so much happen yesterday, When I came downstairs for dinner the girls shouted, "Yay! Mommy is wearing pants!"

It has been awhile since I have been down ill like this and the girls don't quite know what to make of it. They were concerned that I would have to go to the hospital. They have tried to keep me entertained with many stories, pictures, magic tricks and cuddles.

I just hope this one stays with me and doesn't move on through the family.

Well, I think it is time to try to take another nap.

Tales from a mouth breather

Friend(s) I have finally succumbed to the illness that has been stalking me all week.

I fucking hate being sick.

Especially when it involves me being unable to breathe through my nose, horrific body aches, and a fever.

Now I have to go to the damn Doctor and I hate that shit too.

There.... I think I have cursed and complained enough.

It is strange when I am sick with sinusey stuff I crave Mexican food and Tang.

Not together of course.

I really wish Chipotle had a drive through. It is on my way home from the doctor's office and I should be coming home right about lunch time. I just don't feel up to getting out of the car and standing in the long line that is likely to be present around the noon hour. Curbside service would be cool too. At least my pharmacy has a drive through. I am pretty sure I will have to stop by there on my way home.

Oh well.

Maybe somebody who loves me very much will bring me Chipotle for dinner tonight.

I'm sick so all of my demands should be met right?

I better go work on my list!

Things that would be helpful to remember

1. When using the self-cleaning option on the oven because butter from a cheesecake crust you made has dripped all over the bottom of your oven, it is helpful to remember to open some windows and turn on the exhaust fan over the stove. This helps prevent your home from filling with smoke and scaring the hell out of young children when the smoke alarm goes and they see said smoke filling the stairway and creeping towards the upstairs.

2. Getting internet access through your cable company works much better when there is a cable outlet in the same room as your computer.

I hope you all find this valuable information helpful.

I like to help others through the benefit of my own experience.

Now if you will excuse me, I once again need to go remove my head from my ass.

Disclaimer: I would like to have it be known that I am currently suffering from a head full of snot and that tends to impede my ability to think and act like someone with an ounce of common sense. Thank you.

Return of the cranky old lady

Did you hear about the 13 year old text messaging champion?

Now that is some ridiculous shit.

$25000. She won that huge load of money for text messaging.

Supposedly she sends something like 250 messages any day.

Good thing she won that money as in all likelihood she will need to buy some social skills if she is doing that much texting. It should pay for carpal tunnel surgery too.

Why does a child that age need a cell phone anyway?

Or better yet explain to me what my 9 year old daughter's best friend needs with a cell phone? She just called us on Friday from her brand new pink phone.

That is also some ridiculous shit.

Now I do not oppose cell phones like my good friend at Bald and Effective, in fact we soon will be land line free because AT&T pissed off Beloved for the last time very recently... but I sure as hell oppose them for young children. I do not plan to allow them for my children until they are driving, and GOD help them if I ever catch them talking while driving.

Crazy crazy crazy.

Makes me cranky.

Another installment of things that have made me laugh this week

Unfortunately I can not seem to get the comic strip itself on here so I will just give you a link. You want the strip from Wednesday April 18.

It is the stinky boy line that really gave me the giggles.

Because I am lazy today and I have mountains of laundry to fold

This is funny.

No More Tiny Bubbles

Apparently Don Ho has gone on to that big luau in the sky.

I think that is all I have for celebrity news today.

Wait no...Prince William and his squeeze are no longer.

Now you can consider yourselves up to date.

What is new around chez us?

While at the place that I like to call..Hell shopping for Easter Dinner fare last Friday #1 asks me if Daddy and I sneak downstairs after she and her sister go to sleep to fill baskets and hide eggs.

I was in no way prepared to answer that question so I did the good ol' answer a question with a question... and replied "why do you ask?"

Apparently a friend of #2 let the bunny out of the basket and of course felt it her obligation to tell her older sister.

I put them off until we were on our way home.

Long story abbreviated...the secret is out now.

Of course this lead to questions about the Tooth Fairy. #1 said that the tooth fairy is real because I know the tooth fairy's phone number. #2's reply to that statement? "I think I know the tooth fairy's number too and proceeds to recite our phone number.

So that secret was revealed too. I was really sad about that because #2 has yet to loose a tooth and experience the excitement of the tooth fairy coming. Not that it will stop me from putting money under her pillow when it does happen.

Santa Claus however is still going strong. They are firm in their belief for that one.

I was really sad by their discovery, much in the way I was sad when we put away the last of #2's baby gear, as it is yet another step towards growing up. I have to say that it kind of killed my enthusiasm a bit when it came time to fill baskets, there were no carrots to eat and no note to answer. (My kids always leave notes for the Easter Bunny and Santa)

Funny but not surprising really if you know my children....#1 was much more keen to hang on the idea than #2. Neither was terribly upset about it, and in fact when I asked #2 later if she was sad they weren't real she gave me that "you are a crazy lady" look and asked me why would she be sad about that?

Because I am dammit!

Perhaps he could take Beloved's Public Speaking Class

Now I don't get political too often here at B.O. (hee hee, that is the first time I realized what the initials are for my blog! I will have to find ways to use that more often.)

As I was saying, I don't get political often and for good reasons that I have probably stated in some previous post.

Truthfully I don't plan to get too political this time either, but I have felt the need to discuss the person most Americans supposedly thought should lead our country according to the last presidential election.

In case you were wondering I do not count myself among those who thought he should lead the country.

Today I happened to be in my car on the way to lead a group, and as is my habit I had the radio turned to NPR.

Apparently the above mentioned person was having a news conference this morning.

Typically when he speaks I don't listen. The reasons are many and I won't go in to all of them here, save for the main reason I don't listen to him speak.

I honestly feel that this man has to go down as one of the WORST public speakers I have ever had the misfortune to hear.

It makes me crazy to listen to him stumble, stutter, pause awkwardly, mispronounce words (somebody PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help him with the word nuclear. Let him know that it is not pronounced nookeelar. I AM BEGGING!) I feel embarassed for the man and I LOATHE feeling embarassed for others. This PERSON IS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR LEADER. How did a man who can not put together a decent statement ever get this job? It is my opinion that he should never open his mouth without a script in front of him and better yet, just do a Cyrano and let some one else speak while he moves his mouth making NO sound.

Why I chose to torture myself this morning I have no idea, maybe I needed to repent or something, but it was PAINFUL. I can't recall the last time I cringed so often while listening to the radio.

However........ despite my pain I do not look at the time as a total loss. It finally gave me something different to blog about.

Ya gotta love 'em

Me to the Children this morning:
Can you please find an activitiy to do that is quiet?

The Children's response to my request:
Let's have a marble fight!

Me to the children (said in a calm yet firm tone):
Absolutely not.

AND Scene.

Happy Birthday to My Tiny Girl

Well #2 will officially be 6 years old in just under an hour.

Let me tell you, this time 6 years ago I was not a pleasant person.

Y'see #2 was two weeks early. Which in all honesty was FINE by me.

The reason I was upset was because I thought that I was not going to be going through the whole process of being in labor.

I had a c-section scheduled because #2 who started trying to be like her sister while still in the womb was in the breech position. Having already done the natural childbirth thing with one baby who was breech, an experience that did not go well and is by far the most terrifying experience of my life thus far.

Moving on...

I went through a procedure called an external version two days before #2 was born. If it had been successful they planned to immediately induce labor.

It was not, so I was ready to have my c-section thankyouverymuch.

The OB then informed me that they would schedule no c-section until 10 days prior to the due date.

Thus the beginnings of my unhappiness.

But I showed him.

Two days later... I find myself sitting on the couch and pop goes my water.

And Whammo... goes my labor process. Zero to God help Me in just a few minutes.

Apparently it takes a long time to get someone down to the OR when the c-section is not an emergency. For me...it was three hours before they got me in there. Contractions were strong and just under 5 minutes apart on the way to the hospital, three hours later you can better believe I was nearing insanity, and ready to rip the nearest head off of the next person who tried to speak to me or made ridiculous comments like..."wow you are really having some strong contractions!"

Finally three hours and a spinal block later I was in a much better mood....things were even better when they handed over #2. I kept hollering at people to bring me that baby, I didn't care what kind of goo she had on her and they could bloody well weigh her later. We had a couple of dicey moments when I began to feel pain while they still had my innards out on the table and the anthestesiologist was failing to register my panic. But a shrill tone of voice and a nice morphine drip took care of that issue.

So let the celebrations continue. We have survived round one. Round two is tomorrow. Round three Sunday.

Did I mention that all cake for these fetes are chocolate with chocolate frosting? The ice cream....
chocolate of course!

She is after all her mother's daughter!

WTF?????

Can ANYONE explain to me why BEANBAG CHAIRS cost as much as a damn couch?

Seriously. I can not find one much under $50.

WHY?? WHY?? WHY??

No title

I ain't got one in me tonight.

Man going back to work after being on vacation for a week sucks ass.

I really was meant to be a lady of leisure.

Not that my vacation was all that leisurely. We here at Chez Us were very productive once again.

Makes me wonder what I could accomplish if I was home all the time.

Not much I suppose. If I was home all the time I would not have the advantage of being motivated by a timeline like I am when I am home for just a week.

In other news...

My baby turns 6 at the end of the week. The party(s) are planned.

Somehow celebrating her birthday has turned in to a weekend long event. Not sure how that happened. But there is no changing it now. We have been getting the daily birthday countdown for two weeks now.

She has some good math skills.

Didn't get that from me.

Despite all my well planned birthday activities we still are lacking a gift for her. The reason why is a long story...so we will just say that I have learned to book mark web pages that have potential gifts on them because despite my confidence in my abilities I apparently can not access those pages again no matter how many hours I spend with Google.

Let's talk about FOOD

MMMmmmm....

I had a lovely evening out with Belovved Husband last night. We went to eat a relatively new restaurant here in town.

My it was delicious.

I had Fire Roasted Flattened Chicken with garlic mashed potatoes and marinated vegetables.

Even the next day nuked for a minute..the leftovers were delicious. I felt like I could eat it every day.

I have decided that I need a wood fired brick oven in my kitchen.

That is what is missing in my life.

Big Fire.
Big Oven.

Preferably we will keep the big fire in the big oven.

I will keep you posted on the details.

In other news...

I am ready to drop kick my cat out the attic window.

For reasons known only to her she has decided to boycott her litter box altogether.

Apparently the carpet in the hallway is a much better place for meeting her kitty toileting needs.
MY BRAND NEW CARPET IN THE HALL.

She has always been a bit prissy about her litterbox. We had to try a few different litters during kittenhood before we found the right one and God forbid if we go a day without scooping..she will leave her calling card right outside the box.

We got a new box a few months ago and she has never really taken to it. She is almost 12 years old, it is a tall box and she does not move as nimbly as she used to. Also #1 who does a great job taking care of the litterbox got pretty heavy handed and put a huge amount of litter in the box, which we suspect may not agree with our feline friend.

So we have purchased a new lower to the ground litter box, with less litter and gone back to what we did when we were litter training her as a kitten. When she can not be supervised she is shut in a room with her litter box, food, water and other kitty necessities.

If this doesn't work then I guess it is off to the vet to make sure we don't have some other issue at play here.

Now my hallway has the lovely scent of Nature's Miracle because I saturated that damn carpet.

If it doesn't get the smell out her kitty ass is going to find a kitty job and pay for the carpet replacement.

I have been telling her for years that she doesn't pull her weight around here.

I am sorry to say that it is going to be awhile before she is off my poo-poo list. We don't go in for prissiness around here.

I need immediate gratification

OK, in my world, when antibiotics are consumed immediate relief should happen.

I know this isn't realisitic, and it never happens that way but I want it to just the same.

I have had four doses and my throat still hurts. If I don't keep up on the Advil it is a down right ugly kind of pain.

What kind of crap is that?

I mean so what if the doctor said I would need to keep up on the advil for the next couple of days to manage pain. What does SHE know? I have antibiotics. I will be cured immediately.

I mean come ON. I am on vacation here.

This is 2007. Where are the magic pills?

Somebody?!?!!!

Just HRH for short

I had a lovely birthday yesterday.

Came home from work to find my honeys all showered and dressed to the nines.

Why....

Because #2 decided that they should, "Honor Mommy like a Queen on her birthday."

So exciting to see that all of my hard work and training has paid off.

I did feel queenly, had a delicious dinner with excellent company.

I was gifted with money and a fancy schmancy watch. (Fancy Schmancy is royal talk don't you know!)

Cake was eaten in my honor.

I was massaged one minute for every year of my life thus far by a handsome man.

Yup pretty queenly.

Today.....

Not so queenly.

Actually the tarnish was beginning to show on the crown throughout the day yesterday, but I was determined to hold it off.

I tried to deny it all day today....I went to work stuck out the whole day...but the body don't lie. The body aches...sore throat....

Next thing I know I am taking my queenly self to the medic to have a not so queen-like q-tip shoved down my throat to find out that I have a royal case of strep throat.

Bummer.

Not the greatest way to start my week-long vacation. But I am in posession of antibiotics and will hopefully be on the mend tout suite.

However I think the best remedy for my poor raw throat is some left-over birthday ice-cream cake from Maggie Moos.

I feel better already!

Go Missy! Go Missy! It's Your...

Birthday!!!

Yes dear reader(s) today is my (enter guess here)th birthday today.

I am not officially (enter guess here) until sometime this evening before 7.

I only know it is before 7 because my mother told me that West Side Story was on the evening I was born and she was determined to have me out before it started.

She made it apparently. This might explain my strong desire to be on stage.

Legend also has it that before being taken to the hospital she had to fix my grandmother's hair and then drive the two of them to my aunt's house so that my aunt could drive her to the hospital since my grandma did not drive.

There was much laughter all the way to the delivery room.

That might explain a few other things about me too.

Puttin' on the Bitch

So today I made some hotel reservations online for a colleague and myself as we are going to a conference in Wichita in a few weeks.

Lucky for me I actually checked the confirmation e-mail only to discover that the reservation I made for my colleague was showing an incorrect check-in/check-out date.

So I called the customer service line for this particular internet travel organization was on hold for at least 20 minutes if not more while listening to the same movement of Vivaldi's Four Seasons over and over again. Once I was finally speaking to a person, I explained my dilemma. She put me on hold again, got back on and said they could fix the date, but I would be charged $50.

50 M-F'in dollars. To make the reservation one day earlier.

My reply was a very irritated, "that is ridiculous" and then repeated my request to assure that I had heard right, that it was really going to cost me 50 bucks to move a reservation up one day well in advance of the actual date of the reservation. (Voice tone and pitch rising with every word)

She put me on hold again (and I am pretty sure she heard me complaining with lots of profanity to Beloved before she actually put me on hold)

A few minutes later (and more Vivaldi)..... lo and behold! The $50 fee has been waived by her supervisor as a "one time courtesy."

Which just proves my theory that if faced with ridiculous things when making a purchase, getting in touch with and sharing my inner bitch usually makes the ridiculous go away.

I think it is the shrill tone of voice.

People will do just about anything to make it go away.

@#$%&! Time Change

Let me tell you that today I could gleefully cause great bodily harm to whatever genius came up with the DST idea.

All you out there with young kids know what I am talking about.

The reality of this change seems to have really kicked in today for my young ones.

This morning I had to deal with MASSIVE grouchiness, whiny, fussy, and rude behavior because the children feel as though I am waking them at the ass crack of dawn.

This evening I am dealing with more grouchiness, whining, and fussing and THEY ARE STILL AWAKE AFTER BEING IN BED WITH LIGHTS OUT FOR AN HOUR.

Typically these kids are out a few minutes after the heads hit the pillow.

Of course I am dealing with this on top of my own tired grumpiness as I deal with getting back on schedule after the show coupled with the time change.

I don't see why we can't just stay on DST year round.

It would just be better for me and it is all about me after all.

Anyway it is when I am tired and grouchy.

I'm Tellin' You

This should be the last post with an update about which song from the show is in my head as we had our last performance today.

I am usually a little bummed out after a show ends, it is so consuming that I often seem to be unsure of what to do with myself for a short while.

The previous two or three shows I was in prior to this one, I did not have that short melancholy period after they were over. In truth I was practically foaming at the mouth to have them over and done with and that worried me. I thought maybe I was growing out of performing or being possessed or something of the sort. I think it had to do with a lot of other things that I am just not going to go into here.

At any rate I find myself this evening feeling a bit melancholy about the end. I had a really good time, and overall I was pretty happy with the way I portrayed this character. I got a fair amount of good feedback about the shows and it was really cool that nearly every performance sold out.
I made some new friends and that is always fun, and I got the opportunity to socialize with them over the past three weekends and I really enjoyed that. Beloved and I don't seem to get out and be social with other adults very often together and for me to go out and socialize on my own has been virtually unheard of for the past ohhhh...9 years. I can probably count the times on one hand. I know it is not a great way to be and I have no one but myself to blame for the lack of socializing. I get lazy pretty easily about going out socially since the children have come along. I know all the arguments about "taking care of yourself so that you are in a better frame for your children" and all of that, but at the end of the day..week...month...year....I.AM.TIRED.
But I bit the bullet and pushed past my tired and went out with people. I am definitely out of practice. I don't know where people go to socialize after dark anymore. I do not recover as quickly the next day from staying out past 12 even when there is no drinking involved. I still seem to be able to converse and be mildly interesting however. Glad I still have that.
In a few days my melancholy will pass as I become immersed in the daily stuff that is my regular non-performing life. There is much to do and many things to return to that have been neglected for the past couple of months. One of those things is reasonable bedtimes. I must leave you know to pursue that right now. Nighty night.

Shout out

To my good friend Ali who has a birthday today. Ok technically yesterday, but since I have not been to bed yet I am calling it today. Hope it was a good 'un Ali!

No More Shows for 60 months

#2 informed me last night as I helped her with a shower that she did not think I should do any more shows for at least 60 months. I told her that was 5 years and she changed her recommendation to 60 years.

Wonder what good parts there will be for a 90-something woman.

One more weekend to go. We had pretty consistently good performances all weekend and every show was sold out. Looks to be the same for this weekend as well. Country music sure sells 'round these parts.

Did I tell you about how I learned that apparently country music is popular with the young people these days? I had no idea.

We went to see a variety show at a local high school a few weeks ago and I was shocked at the number of students wailin' away singing country music songs. (Of course I kept looking around for something sharp to slit my wrists with because about the La-hast thing I wanted to do was listen to a bunch of high school girlies sing bad country songs through their noses, especially since it happened to be my ONE NIGHT off from country music...)

Now maybe I am getting prudish and uptight in my old age, but there was one performance that I decided was offensive to me.

A young lady got on stage and proceeded to sing what is apparently a very popular country song about (big surprise here) a woman who finds out her man has been cheating on her. Now what I found offensive was the chorus to this song which describes how she vandalized this man's car because he was cheating on her. Describes in great detail seat and tire slashing, keying, taking a baseball bat to headlights and all that mess. At first I thought...hmm this does not seem like the best choice for a high school talent show. I thought I was being an uptight parent, but then after more thought I decided that it wasn't as a parent that I was offended, but as a professional. I spend a lot of time talking about appropriate ways to express anger, and here is a very popular song promoting violence and young girl(s) are singing their hearts out to this song. Didn't set too well with me let me tell you. I know many of you are probably thinking that it is just a song and all that, but I have worked with enough kids to know that many take the messages in songs to heart. Maybe I am over reacting, but I really think it was inappropriate for the venue. I just wish people would give more thought to the messages given to our children.

We need to be more thoughtful.
Period.
End of Story.

Now it is time for me to pull that stick out of my ass and get to bed.
Can't sleep well when there are protrusions.

Oh to be my dog for today

Then I would get to lie in front of the heater and nap until I was done.