My feets have grown!

So I went to buy some sandals this weekend since we have BOGO going on at Payless.

I was at the mall for some other items and decided to hit the Payless there. I tried on a rather cute pair of sandals in what I assumed was my size.

They were too small.

So I tried on a different style in what I was still assuming was my size, because of course the first pair was just a fluke.

Too small.

Apparently my feet have grown, or as my husband suggested they have resized at Payless.

I was confused by this need for a bigger size as one would assume that my other shoes in what I considered my usual size do not seem to be too small.

It is a mystery.

I gotta give props to good ol' Payless. Not only do they have a mean BOGO sale, BUT if the store does not have the shoe you wish to purchase in your size they will call other stores, hold the pair for you at the other store, still give you half off the second pair that is being bought at a different store AND give you an additional $1 off for your trouble. My second pair of sandals was under $4 and it wasn't so much trouble because I was going to the other side of town anyway. Go Payless. Their shoes and selection are much better than they used to be back when I was much younger.

In other news...

I keep having recurring dreams about Zach Braff wanting to be my boyfriend.
Not unpleasant...but weird.

Pictures!

I promised you all some pictures and by golly here they are!

#2 in her new favorite nightie

#1 in her brand spankin' new boots we got for Horse Camp this week.

Enjoy the cuteness that we get to experience on a daily basis.

Dancing Queen

Hello reader(s)!

Oh so much has happened since we last were together.

Where shall I start?

Dance Recital:
Yours truly participated in the yearly dance recital our particular dance studio puts on each year. I got up there and tap danced to a Bon Jovi tune while WEARING a Bon Jovi T-shirt. (I wore jeans too, lest you think we put a Risky Business twist on the ordeal). I didn't die from the exposure either. Never been a Bon Jovi fan so I am glad to be done with it. Y'all who have been readin' for a while know that ol' Missy gets picky about music sometimes.

Garage Sale:
Been planning on and pulling junk out for one of these almost a year now and finally got it done. Made about a $100 bucks. Kiddoes made out like bandits selling lemonade, bottled water, stuffed animals, and their old playhouse.

Saw a grown-up movie:
Took some of the cash from the abovementioned sale and went out to dinner and saw Knocked-Up. Enjoyable movie. Would have been even more enjoyable had we not been concerned about the family with children who were ohhhhh about 6-9 years old behind us. Much material that is inappropriate for children in this movie. Please note: If you are having to tell your child to cover eyes and ears every few minutes....probably not a good choice for a family outing.

Got a new camera:
7.1 megapixels, image stabilization, bells, whistles, and DUCT TAPE FREE. Soon as I get software and etc loaded I hope to post a few pictures.

That's all for now folks!

Heh heh...donkeyballs

Mops , brushes, poison.
Cleaning house sucks donkeyballs
and dries out your hands.

(From Haiku Mama)

This poem illustrates a few of the several reasons I invite the fairies to my house once a month.

One of the reasons I chose to share this particular Haiku is because I apparently am channeling my inner 12 year old boy tonight as the word donkeyballs has been making me giggle like one gone mad.

A little Haiku

From the book Haiku Mama (because 17 syllables is all you have time to read)

Like a badge of honor
our spreading hips unite us
asstacular moms.

I share because I have decided that asstacular is my new favorite word.

For anyone who is pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant

Don't want to look like just another pregnant lady why not do this?

Or perhaps this one is more to your taste.

Where were these ideas when I was sporting the gigantic belly?

Probably the same place as all the cute maternity clothes.

Save Now

Yes 'tis another one of my random titles that mean nothing.

So what is new with everyone?

Really. All I ever do on this blog is write about me and mine. It is just all about me me me.

Well tonight I turn over a new leaf. I want you to tell me about well......YOU.

I know you are thinking, "Wow Missy is it possible for you to be this lazy? I mean come ON. I(we) expect you to entertain us, not the other way around."

I prefer not to think of this as laziness but rather....ingenuity. A radical new idea for my blog and blogs everywhere. The reader(s) do all the work.

I think I may be on to something here.

I bet I don't get one comment to this post. Any takers on that bet?

Vigilance is called for

Boy that #2 is just full of interesting comments lately.

Here are 2 count 'em TWO just from today:

This one was directed at Beloved after he enforced the Snow Bear Stays Home Except on Overnight Visits to Someone's House Rule. After moments of pouty silence in the car..."Daddy you just don't have any room in your heart for love."

The next one was directed at me as we walked home from the grocery store. We are walking along and #2 is giving me some love pats on the stomach. Then....."Mommy your tummy looks like you are going to have a baby. I am not trying to say you are fat or anything...but your tummy does look like you could have a baby."

You had best believe I whipped out and completed the Pilates DVD tonight after a vigorous session on the treadmill.

If only she had said something BEFORE I consumed that half carton of Ben and Jerry's after dinner.

In the interest of equal exposure let us discuss #1 for a moment.

She is currently learning how to ride a bike sans training wheels. Yes I do recognize that this is a skill that should have been mastered a few years ago...but you must take in to consideration the fact that she has lazy parents. So stopping is a challenge for her. She tends to just try to jump off the bike instead of using the brakes. Something she comes by naturally. According to legend when I was going through the same learning process instead of stopping using the brakes I would steer in to the grass and jump off. She is making good progress. Only hit one parked car and tonight nearly rode straight on to a busy street. I have learned not to watch as she and Beloved practice. Unfortunately tonight I happened to look up just as she was about to go into the busy street. You probably heard me scream "OH MY GOD" at your house. Regardless of what state you live in. I gotta hand it to #1 once she gets her eye on the prize she sticks with it 'til she takes it home. So I imagine if her parents discontinue their lazy ways and keep up the practice sessions she will be riding in no time. If you see her ask about the Zen practices she uses to help her stop successfully using her brakes. It is facinating.

On a totally random note....check out this CD.

Be sure to listen to the samples. Everyone should have their veryown copy.

The True Meaning of Art

Bonjour Fair Reader(s)!

I know......it has been far too long. Alas my time has been occupied with all the events that seem to come at the end of the school year....more recently preparing for, taking, and returning from a 5 day trip to see Beloved's family in Ohio. That my friends is no small feat in my world. You see when I am preparing to travel my brain is overcome with the idea that if something is forgotten there is no way I can remedy the situation wherever it is I am going. I get some kind of weird amnesia-like syndrome that makes me think there are no stores wherever it is I am going. I'm working on it.

So this post will be short-ish because we just arrived home late this afternoon after spending way too many hours in a car.

I just want to share this little bit of information courtesy of #2.

The other night she was drawing in a journal-type book. I asked her about the artwork and she replied that the book was the true meaning of art. I then asked her what is the true meaning of art? #2 stated that it was hard to explain, but the true meaning of art is doing art the best way that you can in the way that you like.

Works for me.

Happy Mother's Day

To all you mommma's out there...hope you are "honored like you are a queen" as #2 says.

To all you out there who are not momma's...honor the one you have like she is a queen.

Honoring like a queen is easy.

Just bow down to all wishes of the queen-like person.

No big deal.

nope I did not expire

I finally recovered from my ailments. Took longer than I thought it would/should but what are ya gonna do?

Not post on your blog in my case.

Just haven't been feeling it here lately and there is little to share.

My beloved husband did give me an idea, and that should be coming through soon.

In the meantime just thought I would let you both know that I am still among the living.

Now I must go and eat.

Apparently I have pissed off the Goddess of Health and Wellness

Because I know you on the edge wanting the latest update on my health, and seeing as I apparently have a need to vent let me tell you what is up.

Rash.
Covering.
Most.
Of.
My.
Body.

Come ON!

I seem to be developing an allergy to penicillan. How cool is that?

Almost as cool as this rash.

Fever is gone. So hallelujah for that I guess.

So now I wait for a call back from the doctor's office. I am pretty sure I have a day of being doped up on Benadyrl ahead of me. Which is good for all of you becuase it will mean I sleep instead of Blog.
Or if I am really dopey...some interesting blogging may ensue. You never know.

I just hope they call with instructions before the itching starts. Please!

Feel free to put me out of my misery

We are now on Day 3 with the fever, congestion, and general feeling like doo-doo.

My doctor thought it might be a sinus infection and gave me some antibiotics.

Apparently it is viral, as I have been on them for two and half days with minimal improvement.

Although today the fever is not as bothersome as it has been the past two days. I don't know if that is because I am getting better, or just getting used to it. I am going to be optomistic and say it is because I am getting better.

I am so unbelievably bored with lying around that I can hardly take it any more.
I did manage to shower and wash my hair before 10:00 today, for which my family is grateful I am sure. That didn't so much happen yesterday, When I came downstairs for dinner the girls shouted, "Yay! Mommy is wearing pants!"

It has been awhile since I have been down ill like this and the girls don't quite know what to make of it. They were concerned that I would have to go to the hospital. They have tried to keep me entertained with many stories, pictures, magic tricks and cuddles.

I just hope this one stays with me and doesn't move on through the family.

Well, I think it is time to try to take another nap.

Tales from a mouth breather

Friend(s) I have finally succumbed to the illness that has been stalking me all week.

I fucking hate being sick.

Especially when it involves me being unable to breathe through my nose, horrific body aches, and a fever.

Now I have to go to the damn Doctor and I hate that shit too.

There.... I think I have cursed and complained enough.

It is strange when I am sick with sinusey stuff I crave Mexican food and Tang.

Not together of course.

I really wish Chipotle had a drive through. It is on my way home from the doctor's office and I should be coming home right about lunch time. I just don't feel up to getting out of the car and standing in the long line that is likely to be present around the noon hour. Curbside service would be cool too. At least my pharmacy has a drive through. I am pretty sure I will have to stop by there on my way home.

Oh well.

Maybe somebody who loves me very much will bring me Chipotle for dinner tonight.

I'm sick so all of my demands should be met right?

I better go work on my list!

Things that would be helpful to remember

1. When using the self-cleaning option on the oven because butter from a cheesecake crust you made has dripped all over the bottom of your oven, it is helpful to remember to open some windows and turn on the exhaust fan over the stove. This helps prevent your home from filling with smoke and scaring the hell out of young children when the smoke alarm goes and they see said smoke filling the stairway and creeping towards the upstairs.

2. Getting internet access through your cable company works much better when there is a cable outlet in the same room as your computer.

I hope you all find this valuable information helpful.

I like to help others through the benefit of my own experience.

Now if you will excuse me, I once again need to go remove my head from my ass.

Disclaimer: I would like to have it be known that I am currently suffering from a head full of snot and that tends to impede my ability to think and act like someone with an ounce of common sense. Thank you.

Return of the cranky old lady

Did you hear about the 13 year old text messaging champion?

Now that is some ridiculous shit.

$25000. She won that huge load of money for text messaging.

Supposedly she sends something like 250 messages any day.

Good thing she won that money as in all likelihood she will need to buy some social skills if she is doing that much texting. It should pay for carpal tunnel surgery too.

Why does a child that age need a cell phone anyway?

Or better yet explain to me what my 9 year old daughter's best friend needs with a cell phone? She just called us on Friday from her brand new pink phone.

That is also some ridiculous shit.

Now I do not oppose cell phones like my good friend at Bald and Effective, in fact we soon will be land line free because AT&T pissed off Beloved for the last time very recently... but I sure as hell oppose them for young children. I do not plan to allow them for my children until they are driving, and GOD help them if I ever catch them talking while driving.

Crazy crazy crazy.

Makes me cranky.

Another installment of things that have made me laugh this week

Unfortunately I can not seem to get the comic strip itself on here so I will just give you a link. You want the strip from Wednesday April 18.

It is the stinky boy line that really gave me the giggles.

Because I am lazy today and I have mountains of laundry to fold

This is funny.

No More Tiny Bubbles

Apparently Don Ho has gone on to that big luau in the sky.

I think that is all I have for celebrity news today.

Wait no...Prince William and his squeeze are no longer.

Now you can consider yourselves up to date.

What is new around chez us?

While at the place that I like to call..Hell shopping for Easter Dinner fare last Friday #1 asks me if Daddy and I sneak downstairs after she and her sister go to sleep to fill baskets and hide eggs.

I was in no way prepared to answer that question so I did the good ol' answer a question with a question... and replied "why do you ask?"

Apparently a friend of #2 let the bunny out of the basket and of course felt it her obligation to tell her older sister.

I put them off until we were on our way home.

Long story abbreviated...the secret is out now.

Of course this lead to questions about the Tooth Fairy. #1 said that the tooth fairy is real because I know the tooth fairy's phone number. #2's reply to that statement? "I think I know the tooth fairy's number too and proceeds to recite our phone number.

So that secret was revealed too. I was really sad about that because #2 has yet to loose a tooth and experience the excitement of the tooth fairy coming. Not that it will stop me from putting money under her pillow when it does happen.

Santa Claus however is still going strong. They are firm in their belief for that one.

I was really sad by their discovery, much in the way I was sad when we put away the last of #2's baby gear, as it is yet another step towards growing up. I have to say that it kind of killed my enthusiasm a bit when it came time to fill baskets, there were no carrots to eat and no note to answer. (My kids always leave notes for the Easter Bunny and Santa)

Funny but not surprising really if you know my children....#1 was much more keen to hang on the idea than #2. Neither was terribly upset about it, and in fact when I asked #2 later if she was sad they weren't real she gave me that "you are a crazy lady" look and asked me why would she be sad about that?

Because I am dammit!

Perhaps he could take Beloved's Public Speaking Class

Now I don't get political too often here at B.O. (hee hee, that is the first time I realized what the initials are for my blog! I will have to find ways to use that more often.)

As I was saying, I don't get political often and for good reasons that I have probably stated in some previous post.

Truthfully I don't plan to get too political this time either, but I have felt the need to discuss the person most Americans supposedly thought should lead our country according to the last presidential election.

In case you were wondering I do not count myself among those who thought he should lead the country.

Today I happened to be in my car on the way to lead a group, and as is my habit I had the radio turned to NPR.

Apparently the above mentioned person was having a news conference this morning.

Typically when he speaks I don't listen. The reasons are many and I won't go in to all of them here, save for the main reason I don't listen to him speak.

I honestly feel that this man has to go down as one of the WORST public speakers I have ever had the misfortune to hear.

It makes me crazy to listen to him stumble, stutter, pause awkwardly, mispronounce words (somebody PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help him with the word nuclear. Let him know that it is not pronounced nookeelar. I AM BEGGING!) I feel embarassed for the man and I LOATHE feeling embarassed for others. This PERSON IS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR LEADER. How did a man who can not put together a decent statement ever get this job? It is my opinion that he should never open his mouth without a script in front of him and better yet, just do a Cyrano and let some one else speak while he moves his mouth making NO sound.

Why I chose to torture myself this morning I have no idea, maybe I needed to repent or something, but it was PAINFUL. I can't recall the last time I cringed so often while listening to the radio.

However........ despite my pain I do not look at the time as a total loss. It finally gave me something different to blog about.