I can't say that I really had a true New Year's Resolution this year. I had a lot of thoughts, but never settled on one thing.
Every year I vow this is the year that I will adopt healthy eating habits. I do well for a while and then I swan dive gracefully and purposefully off the wagon of healthy eating habits.
In many respects this year has been no different. New Year's Day rolled around and I ate a healthy breakfast...and then scarfed several pieces of left over fudge from the previous evenings' festivities.
The beginning of the week rolled around a few days later and I got serious. Because I have to. I have been on approximately 5 month binge of eating crap, not exercising, going to bed ridiculously late and a toll has been taken. I am grumpy, outgrowing my pants, tired, and generally unfit.
So I signed up for a 7-day free trial of Weight Watchers. After three days the points counting once again is making me a lunatic. I don't have time to enter points throughout the day. I foolishly thinking I am doing really well until I count up my points at the end of the day, am over and still hungry. I soldier on. However by Friday I am done. I just can't make myself pay to do what I already know I need to do and am doing for the most part. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Eat appropriate portions. Drink water. Exercise. I decide my money is better spent joining the Y. At least there I get a pool.
I have continued to monitor what I am eating. Appropriate portions! Fruit! Vegetables! Water! Exercise!
Now you have the back story to what I am about to confess.
Today I had a client successfully complete therapy. When this happens I plan a celebration, and I let the child pick a special treat to eat during the last session. Today the choice was Hostess Cupcakes. I ate one with the child. Not a big deal.
There are enough left over for both kids and BH to have one. So I bring them home. #2 nibbles on hers and declares that she doesn't like it because it has whipped cream in the middle. She deposits the cupcake on my plate.
I stare at it for several minutes as I eat my carrots. Then I begin to pick a the frosting. I mention to BH who is sitting across from me that I am trying not to eat it because I already had one today, and eating another really blows my portion control efforts. He suggests putting ketchup on it so I will leave it alone. I laugh at him. And of course continue to pick at the frosting. I eat all the frosting. I pick up the ketchup bottle and douse the motherfucker. I turn it upside down to smush the ketchup. I pause. I look. I pick up the bottle again as BH starts to laugh. Laugh because he knows my thought process and subsequent action....I have to drown the other side before I eat down to where there is ketchup.
Yes folks. I am that sad, and that weak when faced with a mere cupcake.
Don't judge me.