It is H-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s!!!!
So this one day back in May. You know that day that the world was supposed to end? I forget the exact date now and I am really far far too lazy to look it up. If you are not lazy like I am or have a better memory for such things feel free to put it to me in a comment.
Anyhoo...End of the World Day. The Babble Children whom I affectionately refer to as #1 and #2 were watching the clock somewhat carefully while we finished dinner and made fun of people who really thought the rapture was upon us. A few minutes after 6:00 PM #2 shouts, "Hooray! We survived! The world didn't end!" The words were barely out of her mouth when....
The tornado sirens went off.
The children in the House of Babble DO NOT take well to storms. Which really sucks for them seeing as how we live in Kansas, and y'know we tend to get some weather 'round these parts.
As usual we headed for the nearest TV to see what was going on. I was not worried as the sirens go off all over the county even if the tornado is in the farthest corner heading away from town.
Welll......turns out we actually had ourselves some funnel clouds in town.
None of them were particularly close to our house, so we were counting ourselves pretty lucky.
Big. Ass. Motherfucking. Hail.
Most were at least the size of golfballs or eggs. Some were the size of baseballs.
This storm kind of came from nowhere, and we had planned to go do some errands after dinner, so we left my car out of the garage, because dammit it is a lot of work to get out of the car, fold up the side mirrors, open the garage door manually and all that crap. So I don't put the car away until I am sure that I am done for the day. Unless it snows. Then all of the above seems like a lot less work than cleaning snow off the car. BH can't put his car in the garage because there is too much crap on his side. My car gets preference because it is only a year old.
Only a year old.
People I am not ashamed to say that I was fighting back tears as I watched that Big.Ass.Motherfucking.Hail. pound my pretty one year old car.
So eventually the storm ended after what seemed like 100 years. We went out to assess the damage and marvel over the vast size and amount of hail that had fallen. The girls were able to fill a wagon with hailstones and it didn't even look like they had made a dent.
The cars were pummeled. BH's even had a crack in the windshield.
So come Monday the great race to contact the insurance company began. Took me until almost noon to reach them. We didn't get appointments for the adjustors to come out until the middle of June.
Turns out this was one hell of an expensive hail storm.
As a result the Babble Family will soon have:
1 New Roof (previous was only 9 years old)
1 New set of gutters (just had new gutters installed 2 years ago)
1 New Garage Roof
1 Freshly painted garage
Freshly painted house trim
Sadly BH's car was old enough and damaged enough that they totalled his car out. He has decided to keep it as it runs great and he don't care 'bout no stinkin' hail dents.
My car is going to be practically new again once they are done. I am getting a brand new hood. new roof, and a new trunk, to go along with a new paint job.
To keep this from getting any longer, arranging repair estimates and getting things scheduled has been a nightmare and a full time job for BH. The only repair that has been completed to date is replacing the winddhield on BH's car.
Roof repair has to happen first. That should be soon, since they said they were scheduling 4 weeks out and it has been just about that long since they gave that estimate. They also placed a sign in our yard today so that makes us hopeful. None of the rest of the house/garage repair can be done until the roof happens. So nothing has even been scheduled for the house past the roof.
My car won't be repaired until the middle of October.
Not too happy about that, but nothing to be done I suppose.
In a few moments of desperation I considered trading it in, because it was going to be such a hassle to have it out of commission for so long.
Then I pulled my head out of my ass.
So I guess the moral of the story is don't make fun of the fake Rapture, or God/Mother Nature may get out can of whoop-ass and open it up all over your house and cars.