As a matter of fact it DOES suck

I am at one week post bad cholesterol number news. I have been very good and extremely vigilant about eating and exercise.

The exercise I don't mind so much.

The constant analysis of every single bite of food I put in to my mouth...I mind A. LOT.

I am more than ready to get past having to think about all of this so much. I am ready for this to be a habit as opposed to...well...not being a habit I suppose.

Not very patient am I? I know there are a few theories out there about how long it takes to form a habit. I am pretty sure that none of those theories say that a habit can be changed in the matter of one week.

Too bad. I was hoping to fast track this bitch.

Let's talk about something else, because I am spending way too much of my thinkin' time on this topic.

I got to stay home today! We have had a good run of good health, that has come to an end. #1 was sent home with pink eye yesterday and not allowed to return to school until she had been on antibiotics for 24 hours. She feels fine, and the eye already looks better. So we have hung out, played the world's longest game of war, went to her favorite sandwich joint for lunch, and now she is playing outside with the neighbor kids, who are home schooled. Not a bad day all in all. Soon we are off to Barnes and Noble so she can get the latest book in her beloved Warriors series.

So my outlook about work continues to be pretty dim. Not sure what to do about it still. I will have completed the requirements for my clinical license in a little less than three weeks. Once I have the clinical license in hand, I think it will be time to start thinking about what I want to do. I have mostly just been complaining, and biding my time these past two months waiting to finish up this clinical licensing process. Now that it is nearly done, I feel like I need to spend some time making some decisions. Not really looking forward to that decision making part of things.

Oh well. I guess it is all part of this so called "grown-up life."

A Check Under the Hood

After putting it off for a ridiculously long time, I finally got around to switching over to a new doctor and getting a physical.

If you knew the amount of anxiety this provoked for me, you would likely be dragging me to the local psychiatrist for medication. The good news is that now I have done it, I won't be so wiggly and resistant about keeping up. It won't keep me from getting edgy every time I have to go, but it won't be to the ridiculous levels it was for this one.

What I learned was that I apparently have a "Cholesterol Problem." Now REALLY this was not terribly surprising for a few reasons:

1. Family History
2. A diet that has largely been based on crap for a while
3. Lack of regular exercise for quite a while now
4. Being above my desired weight for height

So I was in no way shocked by what I was told. My doctor seemed a bit surprised by the results, but less so after I confessed my sins. He did have me do ANOTHER BLOOD DRAW (oh how I HATE HATE HATE the blood draw) to rule out a "sluggish thyroid" which apparently can lead to high cholesterol. No word yet on those results. I am throwing my vote at 1-4 above being the culprit, but you never know I guess.

I wasted no time in taking necessary steps towards correcting this problem. Of course as I think is somewhat expected in this type of situation, I am questioning every bite I put in to my mouth far more than is needed I am sure. I am doing my research on cholesterol lowering foods, amping up the fruits and veggies, and have hit the treadmill every evening since I got the results.

I am concerned of course about this issue, but in a way I am glad about it. This is exactly the kick in the pants I required to do what I have known I needed to do for sometime now. I am trying hard to have a positive attitude about the changes I am trying to make, and think fewer thoughts about being deprived of things I like. I think for a while I am going to be as vigilant as I can, until I have truly changed my habits. I am far to prone to the "Oh well I have already eaten this so I may as well go all out." So vigilance will be required. No doubt about it.

I thought it was a happy coincidence that in our quest to eliminate unhealthy things in our lives, this month fast food was the choice to give up. I have not missed the food itself really, but I miss the convenience to be sure. Our rule is no place with a drive thru. (Because we had to find a way to justify our Chipotle addiction) IF for some reason we must use a place with a drive thru salad has to be the order. Fast food salads are N-A-S-T-Y for the most part, so that is motivation for me to just say no.

The good news I received was that a concerning lump on my collarbone is nothing more than a fibroma. Of course when he called it a fibroma I was on the fast train to wigging out, but he quickly explained that it was nothing to be concerned about. Unless it grows of course. I will strive not to obsessively measure it's size. I think that will be pretty easy.

So my journey to better health and lower cholesterol begins.

Good luck and Godspeed to me.

Why I Love Our President

First I have to mention how thrilled I am to once again have something positive to say about our country's leader. It makes my heart glow like ET.



I love this book and have so many fond memories of reading it to my girls. Even though they are long past being able to read it themselves we still get it out from time to time. #1 had it memorized at age 2 and would read it to me in her cute little voice. Hope you enjoy.

Passive Aggressive Much Mother?

I bought an adorable dress for #2 a few weeks ago.

Sooo cute! I thought it would make a lovely Easter dress and #2 agreed.

You never know what the weather is going to be like on Easter around here so I bought this to go with it.She will be so stinkin' cute I won't be able to stand it.

#2 is very excited about her new dress, and wanted to show it to her beloved Grammy when she was here for her weekly make breakfast for the girls and take them to school day. I had it hanging up in the downstairs bathroom for "ironing." (Read: letting many steamy showers do their de-wrinkling magic.)

My mother appropriately compliments the dress and then asks if I would like her to take it home and iron it.

"Uhhhh....no. I think I can take care of that, but thanks for the offer." Says I.

"Oh, well I didn't think you had an iron." replies Mother Dear.

"What the hell?" I think in my head.

I then actually reply, "Of course I have an iron!"

"Oh well I didn't know, I guess I thought you didn't like to iron." says Ma.

Well she is right about that. I do avoid the iron when I can. My steamy shower works pretty well most of the time. Back to our scintillating conversation....

"I was planning on ironing the dress." (I totally wasn't) "I was just using the steam to get out most of the wrinkles to make it easier." I reply.

"Oh well if you change your mind I don't mind doing it." Says the woman who used to iron my t-shirts when I was a kid no matter how much I begged her not to.

Ohhhh Lord. I am 37 years old. It amazes and shames me that she can reduce me to a track covering irritated adolescent with one sentence.

I have to leave now. Tomorrow is Easter and I swear to the resurrected Jesus that I am going to iron the shit out of that dress. There won't be one damn wrinkle. I am then going to invite my mother over to prove to her that I have mad ironing skills.

I feel a summons coming on...

In the mail today I received a very official looking document from US District Court.

They wanted a little information from me.

About my qualifications to be a juror it seems.

Now there is a tiny part of me that thinks it would be kinda cool.

However the anxious fretting part of me is a much larger beast who can not fathom how I could possibly do that.

BH was called up a year or so ago, and he was supposed to be available to be called at any time for something like 2-3 months. MONTHS. As in more than one. As in much more than the week you have to be available for county court around here.

Yikes. Given my line of work that would be very hard and pretty darn detrimental to the wee ones who depend on me for their bi-weekly dose of play therapy.

Of course you KNOW I went to the crazy place of my being selected for a long ass trial that went on forever and required sequestering. Oh God. I am going to put myself in to a real state if I keep on that train of thought.

BH got out of his because it would be problematic for him to miss that much teaching time, so I assume the same could happen for me. Long term interruptions to the therapeutic process are generally contraindicated particularly for children under the age of 6. (How does THAT sound?) I may have to actually tag this post so that I can come back to that phrase if I need it!

It won't stop me from fretting about it that is for sure. 'Cause you know how I love me something to fret about. (Not really, but I seem to be unable to stop myself.)

Sigh.

A Maybe on the Likelihood Scale

I believe I have discussed before #1's disdain for all things girly. Doesn't want her hair messed with, lives in t-shirts and slicky pants, no Barbies, dolls, princesses, or anything of that nature. No nail painting (actually when she was a preschooler she liked this quite a bit, but since hitting grade school NO WAY!)

So you can imagine my surprise when a week or so ago, I found out that #1 had willingly agreed to play with MAKEUP and PERFUME while at my mother's house. We were all meeting at a restaurant to celebrate #2's birthday. The girls were with my mom after school and had been playing outside. My mom came in to get herself ready and suggested the girls do a little clean up too, because as she put it, "That is what we ladies do."

Now that phrase right there SHOULD have incited immediate rebellion in #1. But it didn't, she was all up for using the body spray, and let my mom put eyeshadow and lip gloss on her. (Now I had to have a bit of discussion with mother about the makeup part. Play at home fine. Out in public not fine.) Of course we could not hold back our shock. BH asked if boyfriends were next. #2 replies in a very haughty way, "That would be a maybe on the likelihood scale Dad."

There was no way we could contain the laughter at that one.

To top it off, #1 asked if we could go to Bath and Body Works to get some of the body wash and body spray that Grammy had. After I picked myself up off the floor I answered yes of course!

Things they are a changin'.

While we are sort of on the funny things kids say topic, #2 comes up with this lovely question a couple of days ago out of nowhere:

"Mommy what happens to ghosts when they die?"

In one of my finer mommy moments my answer was to simply laugh.

I laugh because I have no idea what to answer. So I use my best therapy tactic.

"What do you think happens to ghosts when they die."

Thankfully she did not seem to concerned.

Recipe for a Sleepover

So I am now the parent of children who are aged 11 and 8.

#2 celebrated her 8th birthday last week, with a slumber party.

#2 is a big fan of the sleepover.

I do not always share her enthusiasm. Because sleepover = very grumpy child the next day.

Now I deal with many MANY grumpy children at work all day long. Therefore I prefer to limit my exposure to grumpy children at home on my days off as much as possible.

I feel that I have come up with a solution that allows both parties to get their way when it comes to sleepovers.

First, during the school year I pretty much insist that the sleepover take place on Friday night.

Why?

A couple reasons:

1. Children have been in school all day, all WEEK for that matter, so they come to you at least somewhat fatigued already.

2. We have Saturday AND Sunday to recover from the sleep deprivation that is de rigeur for a sleepover. (I am sure there are many reasons why when the children go to bed several hours past their regular bed time at one of these functions they feel that they must rise an hour or two EARLIER than they would on a regular day. I will never accept any of the reasons this happens because they are all ludicrous, I don't care what you say.)

Next, call me mean, boring, whatever but I set the lights out and lights out no more talking times. I can not in good faith go to sleep if someone else's children are up and running around my house. I need to sleep, therefore the kids are going to sleep. I generally have a lights out at 11, and no more talking at 11:30. This does help curb some sleep deprived grouchiness, because we are not staying up until 4 AM. I really have not gotten any complaints about this policy from the wee ones.

Last, naps the following day are manditory. No questions asked. Do not even attempt to talk me out of it. This is part of the child price for being allowed a sleepover. #2 didn't even have to be told after last week's party. She went on her own. Bedtime is also early that night.

Since insituting this plan, I have experienced much less grouchiness the following day.

I don't even cringe openly when requests for sleepovers are made any more.

Feel free to adopt this recipe as your own.

Tweak it to meet your needs, but I can not guarantee results if you do.