Sunday, December 07, 2008

Ramble On

I'm baaaaaccckk.

I thing this is longest I have ever gone without posting. I am waaayy too lazy to go back and see for sure. But if it isn't than we at least have a second place going here.

There are many reasons for my lack of posting. How about a nice list, because I KNOW you are beside yourself with curiosity.

Missy's List of Excuses, NAY! Valid Reasons for failing to post for weeks:

  • Rehearsal rehearsal and more rehearsal. I think I mentioned somewhere before that BH, #2, and I are in a radio show version of "It's a Wonderful Life." We traveled 6 hours one way this weekend to perform to under 50 people I would guess. Stayed in a crappy motel with a shower that I am sure was modeled after a prison shower. Only with a curtain. We have this week off and then next week we do a live TV broadcast on our local PBS station. Then I do not plan to do a show during the holiday season again for a looong looong time. If ever.

  • Wireless router problems. I had a week of extremely spotty wireless internet connectivity. The problem somehow resolved itself. The problem unfortunately coincided with BH trying to complete his graduate research paper on the computer that actually had internet access. School trumps blog I am afraid.

  • Illness. I came down with an upper respitory infection right before Thanksgiving. I find it hard to be creative when my head is snot filled and I am trying so valiantly to cough up both lungs at the same time.

  • #1's birthday party and requisite pre-party cleaning. I was a man down for help cleaning this house last weekend because of the above mentioned research paper. I swear to sweet baby Jesus that this gets bigger when cleaning time arises. Took me two damn days, and I STILL didn't get it all done.

So those are my VERY VALID reasons for being absent so long.

Let's go back to #1's birthday shall we? During my absence #1 turned 11. As in 11 years old. Two years to go before teenagerdom hits. (Speaking of teenagerdom. I scheduled #1's yearly well child exam a few weeks ago, and of course the receptionist made a comment about how #1 is nearly a teenager. I shot back that I have two more years before I have to say that I am a parent of a teenager. She then informs me that the doctor considers kids teenagers at 12. I replied that he was welcome to consider biting my ass because I HAVE TWO MORE YEARS!!!)

Now that number 1 is 11 I feel that I can no longer put off the "This is What Happens When You Hit Puberty" discussion. Please know that my putting it off this long is not because of any discomfort with the topic. #1 has several areas where she displays maturity beyond her years. For example tonight she was able to reason that if she helped her dad with his task, she could get his help sooner for her own task. She generally is a very responsible child.

However....I really feel that in some ways she has not been emotionally mature enough to warrant this discussion. It is hard to reconcile having a discussion about the facts of life with a child who still plays horses at recess. On top of that she has exhibited absolutely NO curiosity whatsover about this topic. We have discussed some minor issues, skincare as a few zits have popped out here and there, managing BO, eventual leg and armpit shaving. The more serious topics have not come up. At all. I think I have been waiting for an opening...a question...something. I have realized at last that I am going to have to create the opening. She ain't getting any younger, and it is really important to me that she hears correct information, AND that she can feel comfortable talking to me about it.

I am not naive enough to think that this will be the first time she has heard some of this. She has friends, goes to sleepovers and the like. In my day at this age these things were a hot topic at such gatherings. So I asked a week or so ago when we were discussing her advancing age if she and her friends ever talk about what it is like to be a grown up girl. Her reply, "Nahhh..we don't have time to talk about that stuff. We are usually too busy playing warrior cats." Oooohhhhkkkaaayyyy. Maybe we will be starting at ground zero here.

I have talked a lot in other posts on this blog about us being picky about the media the kids are exposed to, that combined with #1's general penchant for fantasy books and her personality in general have kept her perhaps a bit more innocent than many other children her age. I have no regrets about this at all. I remain firmly rooted in my belief that kids need to be kids until...they aren't any more. So I guess if I am totally honest with myself part of putting off has to do with my reluctance to end that innocence. I don't think she is going to be traumatized or anything like that, but it marks a definite milestone and she will in some ways be changed by the newfound knowledge of what it is like to be a grown up. Which means a small step closer to actually being a grown up.

That my friends is something that I am not prepared to deal with yet. Not by a long shot.


filthEdesign said...

we've never had "the talk" with our (almost 13 y/o) son...but i feel like we've had a dialogue about sexuality to varying degrees since he was born...

and he's definitely come home with some misinformation that we've had to correct...

we have started more serious discussions about condoms, pregnancy and stds since he started jr. high, taking advantage of every "teaching moment" from t.v., radio, media, etc...i don't think he's anywhere near ready, but i also know he's not going to tell me when he is...i'd rather he have access and be prepared...remove the taboo so safety is addressed even if only by him...

Ali said...

Thank god my child is only 11 months old... and that we live in a city that will teach him all about sex so we don't have to...

Great entry, Miss. And that "Warrior cats" line is a total keeper for the college years.

Colleen said...

Missy--I think I would love your children. I laughed so hard at the "warrior cats" line and it reminded me of one from a while back where one of your daughters I think said something like she was looking out the window for alien cats or something.

I almost understand your panic at approaching teenagerdom--I have a nine-year-old who is also still pretty innocent and unspoiled (to use a nice Jane Austen word) but now that I work at her school and see who she is around every day, I know that many of the other kids in her class are NOT quite so innocent and who knows what they are telling her? So far she seems to be pretty open with us, and I hope we can keep that dynamic going.

I did have to restrain myself a month or so ago when one of the boys told me, "Mrs. Newman, guess who I have a crush on--your daughter!" I wanted to snap at him, "No! That's not allowed!"

You just keep posting and hopefully I can just follow your path as we get there...