Umm..No. Wait...wait...still no.

The question is..... would you pay $175 per pound for this?

So what is the consequence for THIS misbehavior?

Now I have seen some young people do some crazy stuff in my day, but this....

Hottie of the er...week?

I have been a bit of a slacker about the hottie of the week posting. So I thought I would make an effort to get back on track.

This week my hottie is Big. As in Mr. Big.

Chris Noth.

Just sittin' here wastin' time

Posting on my blog is such a great way to avoid doing things that would be truly productive.

I could make up a long list of things I could or rather SHOULD be doing instead of posting. I won't list those things though because it would be boring, and then I might actually start to feel guilty and that isn't fun for any of us.

So I have been shopping around and doing a little research on digital cameras. I got some Christmas money burning a hole in my pocket baby!

I don't need anything terribly fancy, just something that will take decent pictures, but I find myself overwhelmed by the enormous array of options. Ultimately the decision will come down to price, but it is kind of fun to see what I could get were my funds unlimited.

Hopefully I will get the opportunity to go out and get my new toy this weekend. I hope to have it by Saturday evening. We have a grown-ups only gathering planned for New Years Eve, and you just never know what crazy things can happen when you get a bunch of parents with small children together without the children present. All bets are off I tell you!!

It's going to be wild I tell you. Dinner out, then games, beverages, and snacks at Chez B.

A far cry from the drunken New Year's Eve parties of my youth. Some of you out there may (or may not, there was a lot of drunkeness) recall a couple of those.

Good times...Good times.

I am hoping to make it until midnight this year. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Sick o' Sickness

If you think YOU are tired of the illness theme that has gone on for the last few posts, imagine how sick WE are of living it.

My...that was a bit.....cranky...shall we say?

Well that is because I am cranky about it damn it!

Here is the *&%@#!$ update.

#2 has been sporting a fever since Christmas day. Her main interests for the past two days..crying, and lying around ON me. Ever lay around with a 35 pound electric blanket on top of you? THAT my friends is what it is like to have a feverish 4 year old on you all day. Thought today that she was getting over it, fever was low all day, she played, talked, and laughed. Apparently she was just saving up for when I got home from work at which time the fever shot up and the crying began again. Lucky me.

#1 Has been complaining all evening that her leg hurts. Just came in here crying hysterically AND took me up on my offer of Tylenol. (she NEVER takes my offers of medicine.)

I tell you I have been doling out Children's Tylenol the past two days like a bartender on fifty cent shot night.

Did you know that it is possible to make a teaspoon and a half shot of Tylenol last 10 minutes? I think #2 has set the record for LONGEST POSSIBLE TIME EVER to finish a dose of Tylenol. I had no idea a person could take such tiny sips of anything.

Beloved Husband and I continue to fight colds and coughs, that fool us in to improvement for a day only to turn on us again the next.

We here at Chez B have a long standing tradition of being ill over the holidays. We came to the disturbing conclusion this evening that we could not remember the last Christmas break where every one was healthy. I think it was maybe 1995. I am not kidding either unfortunately.

Tomorrow I think I will begin to price home fumigation. I fear that is our only hope at this point. Maybe I should burn some sage or something. Do they sell Lysol in gallon buckets? Can I get a special attachment that will allow me to shoot it from my garden hose?

All I know is next year we are going under quarrantine immediately after Thanksgiving.

I think I will refrain from posting until I have something to say that is not illness related.

P.S.
Thank God there have been no annoying horrible illness comments from my mother. At this point I can not be responsible for what I may say or do in response to idiotic remarks.

Cough, Cough, Cough...Cough, COUGH, Cough, Cough, Cough...(sing to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Yes 'tis the season to be phlegmy at Chez Us.

Illness update...

#1 Missed one day of school due to fever, headache and nasty cough.

Yours truly..made it to work all week, was sent to bed immediately by my Beloved upon getting home from work Thursday evening. Congestion has moved into a really annoying cough.

My apologies to anyone who eats the holiday goodies I have prepared this week. I think I mangaged to avoid coughing directly in to food.

Everyone else seems to be O.K.

AND...my mother has not once suggested that I call the doctor to make sure that #1 is not suffering from Whooping Cough which apparently is on the rise in our fair state. I bet it comes up tonight though. I will keep you posted.

Despite the illness we are one crock pot of a knock off of Chili's Queso away from being totally set for Christmas.

Tonight it is off to my mother's to partake of yummy food and gifts. Then put the littles to bed so that Santa can come and do his thing, and Mommy and Daddy get to watch It's A Wonderful Life without having to wrap gifts or put any complicated toys together. I will do my annual Christmas Eve perfomance which consists of me falling asleep during the viewing of the above mentioned movie. I will wake up in time to see my beloved give his annual Christmas Eve performance..he will get emotional at the end of the movie. It is so cute, I never miss it.

What are your Night Before Christmas rituals???

So...Happy Holidays from all of us here at Babble On. (OK... that is just me, but the wish is just as sincere as if it were coming from a large and well paid staff!)

So I don't have psychic powers

Well I was a bit off in my illness predictions. #2 Came around and was fine for all of her performance committments.

#1 however is not faring quite so well. She has been coughing and complaining for the past two mornings, but not appearing to be too bad off.

This afternoon afterschool she has succumbed to the dreaded fever.

Man I hate the fever. For completely unknown reasons they make me nervous. I try to let them do their work and not medicate unless the fevering child is really uncomfortable, or we have reached the 102 degree mark.

It is hard though. I have to keep my over active imagination in check too. I have the capacity to envision all sorts of horrid illnesses.

I keep those thoughts to myself. I realize it is crazy thinkin'.

I do know how I come by it though. My mother. The difference is she voices her concerns, and allows her crazy flag fly proudly.

"#1 complained of a pain in her side for 2 seconds one time as she runs around the house never looking more healthy? Oh dear I hope it isn't appendicitis! You had better keep an eye on her!"

"#2 has a cough? She coughed once the entire day? I sure hope it isn't tuberculosis. Maybe you should call her doctor."

I promise you, my mother can come up with the most debilitating illness possible for any symptom regardless how minor. It is something to witness, I tell you.

My beloved has wondered if there is such a thing as being a hypochondriac for other people.

I am looking in to it.

Meanwhile I will NOT voice my crazy thoughts. I WON'T!!!

Oy

Vey!

The Ticking Time Bomb

Last night or I guess more accurately it was 12:30 this morning I was awakened by a crying #2.

Never a good thing.

She couldn't sleep because her nose was too stuffy. Yes indeed she did soud rather congested. A dose of Simply Stuffy (note to the parents of young children out there... this is good stuff!) was administered with a kiss and a tuck, and Mommy stumbled back to bed.

A short time later....

#2 is crying again, this time at my side of the bed, the complaint: her tummy feels sick.

Oh man.

Being a compassionate(read TIRED) mother I allowed her to climb into bed and snuggle with me. There was no peace for me though I gotta tell you. I had to do the "please don't throw up on the bed" chant multiple times until I finally fell back to sleep. (It worked by the way.)

Any one who has had the joy of sleeping next to a 4 year old knows that you don't sleep for long periods of time when the 4 year old is in bed with you. So at my next wake up time, I sent #2 back to her room, grateful that we had avoided vomit on the bed.

Today, no fever. Still stuffy, lethargic. Cranky. Took a long nap, then wanted to go to bed early and fell asleep right away, didn't even come in for her extra snuggle time. All of this added together does not look very promising.

Unfortunately #2 is supposed to perform as an angel in tomorrow's Christmas program at Church, followed by a dance perfomance at the mall in the afternoon. #1 can cover the part in the Christmas program, but can't fit the dance costume. Last Pre-School Christmas program is Tuesday morning.

Not great timing here.

Prediction:

We will be awakened tonight by a feverish child who will stay that way for the next few days. Soon to be followed by sister, mother, and father in no particular order. Likely the next victim(s) will fall just in time for Christmas.

I am feeling a strong urge to get Christmas wrapping, stocking stuffer buying, and baking done right now.

The above urge is beat out by the one I have to bathe the house in Lysol in a futile attepmt to kill germs that in all likelihood have already infected us all.

I fear for the future!

Stay tuned....

You know it is not a good morning when......

GRANDMA gets told that she is, "Really Mean."

Is it bad that I was just a teeny bit glad that someone besides me was getting called mean for a change?

And the Bad Parent Award Goes To......

ME.

# 1 lost a tooth yesterday, and as children who lose teeth do, she put it in her special tooth bag and carefully placed it under her pillow, never doubting for a moment that when she would awaken the next morning her tooth would be gone and in it's place two shiny quarters.

That did not happen. #1 awakened and came to me and said sadly, "The Tooth Fairy Forgot Me."

I did manage not to burst into guilty tears thank goodness.

I did suffer from a flashback however.

You see when I was the same age as #1 the Tooth Fairy forgot me too. I awakened to see my tooth right where I had left it. I tore my bed apart looking for the loot, POSITIVE that the Tooth Fairy had just forgotten to take the tooth with her. Finding nothing in my bed, I ran to my parents room to share my unbelievable news. Their response was, "Uh-Oh, looks like the Tooth Fairy messed up." For whatever reason at that moment the light bulb came on for me. I said to my parents, "You are the Tooth Fairy?" They were honest and said yes. Then like a chain of explosions I realized that if the Tooth Fairy didn't exist then that meant trouble for Santa and the Easter Bunny too. I slowly asked about those beloved characters only to have my worst fears confirmed. No Santa, no Easter Bunny. It was a VERY traumatic morning.

#1 did not let this forgetful fairy thing dent her belief system one bit. She rallied herself with amazing speed and said, "Well, I am going to write her a note and I think you should call her and I bet she comes tonight." I said sure, I will call and you write your note and I am sure she will come tonight.

#1 wrote her note, left a response card for the Tooth Fairy to write back, along with a choice of 4 markers to write with. She asked me what color I thought the Tooth Fairy would like best and I told her. All those things along with the tooth are under her pillow. When she asked me if I called the Tooth Fairy I said yes and told her that she had a bazillion kids to deliver too and just couldn't make it here before #1 woke up. #1 was very understanding, and we speculated on the subject some more. Perhaps she was not really expecting to visit #1 because the tooth became loose and came out within a day. Etc..etc.

#1 is holding no grudge and is very forgiving to the beloved Tooth Fairy.

I only hope that we will fair so well when she discovers the truth.

I just couldn't bring myself to tell her today. She will be young for such a short time, and she gets such pleasure from imagining about these fictional characters that I just don't have the heart to break it to her yet.

Someday....just not now.

Me so lazy

I have been sorta lax in the posting recently. For many reasons which I really want to list for you.

1. I am lazy.
2. My job has been rather demanding the last couple of weeks. I am ready for the January slump.
3. Birthday. Parties.
4. I had a new People and now Glamour magazines to read.
5. I have had to spend a lot of time thinking about exercising.
6. One night I did get on the treadmill.
7. Haven't had any thing truly inspiring to write about.
8. I.....am..........LAZY.

So there you go.

I do have something I want to give a short rant about. In the many conversations I have with a rather large variety of people I have noticed what I think is a new trend in language particulary among women, and I have to say that I don't like it.

That trend is replacing phrases like, "That is great." or "ok" just to name a few with the word perfect either by itself or as part of a phrase.

I had a conversation on the phone last night with someone and part of that conversation involved me giving directions to my house. In response to my directions this person must have used the phrase, "that is perfect." at least three times.

Now first of all I really don't think she can judge my directions as perfect until she successfully navigates herself to my house with out any problems beacause she has followed my directions.

Secondly, the bar is raised too high too soon! I really don't know this person, already I am perfect just as a result of giving directions to my house. Will perfection be expected on all levels now? I am not sure I can do that.

Is it that I came across as needy and she felt compelled to give me such a HUGE pat on the back because I somehow transferred very strong insecure and in need of validation vibes over the phone?

Likely I will never know.

I do know this. I will not succumb to this trendy rate every little thing as "perfect." OK is good enough for me.

Now I must go because my dog just barfed on the floor right beside me.

Perfect.

Hottie of the week (Secret crush/embarassing revelation edition)

Ok, I will tell one of my dark and sad secrets.

At one time I had a crush on Ricky Martin.

Yes, it is true.

I thought about it when I was reading an article about him in the USA weekend insert in the newspaper today.

Too bad he did not look like he did in the USA today picture 5 years ago, because if that were the case I would not be making this startling revelation for sure. Can't find a link, but suffice it to say he has some serious Alfalfa hair going on and it is NOT HOT.

So join in my shame in honoring this week's hottie...

Ricky Martin.

Party Update

Well we survived party day. Many presents were opened, and a good time was had by all.

My horse cake kicked some serious ass too I must say.

One of the best, if not THE best one I have done yet.

Man, my back is really getting bruised from all this patting I am giving it.

Look for a picture sometime in the next 6 months which is likely when I will get around to developing that film.

Santa, if you are reading this I could really use a digital camera.

Awwwww...

Isn't that sweet?

Who gave permission is what I wanna know?!

When you are the parent of a small child, the general rule is that you the parent gives permission for your child to do a fair amount of what your child does.

Given this I want to know one thing...

WHO TOLD MY BABY SHE COULD TURN 8??? AS IN 8 YEARS OLD???

It sure as heck wasn't her parents.

Because there is no way, ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I am old enough to have an 8 year old child.

Didja hear me? NO WAY.

I warned you all this post was coming.

Yes, Number 1 is turning 8 years old today. Officially at 11:21 AM CST. (We tried to convince #1 this morning that she was not actually 8 until the time of her birth, but she wasn't having it.)

Apparently turning 8 is a big deal. Only two more years before her age will be a double digit number. Big things happen when you are 8. Now what those big things are, I am not exactly sure, but #1 knows they are out there.

At some point today, it is likely that #1 will request the telling of the story of the day she was born.

That is always a tough one. For now # 1 gets the edited version of that story because the unedited version is sad, scary, and really hard for Mommy to get through without getting upset, and 8 years old is not quite old enough for the full disclosure of that day.

Her birth was the most frightening thing I have ever experienced. I guess I am going to have to leave it at that because my multiple attempts today at trying to write about that experience just won't come out the way I want. I can not find the words.

While she was in NICU I was sent to a breastfeeding clinic, and I was the only one there without a baby. As we waited for the nurse I sat and listened to all of these mothers complain about how their babies woke them up during the night, and all the other things that new mothers complain about. I burst in to tears right then and there because I was so jealous of them and their complaints. I had not even been able to hold my baby at that point.

I try to remember that experience when I am really frustrated with #1 and she is driving me beyond my personal point of sanity. I am not always good at it admittedly, but I try to remember how lucky we are that she is here and able to make me that crazy.

So I may moan and groan about my age and her age, but I am forever grateful that I have that to moan and groan about.

Now I must leave you.

There are cupcakes and horse cakes to bake, and we must prepare for the festivities to come.

And I won't moan and groan about it.

Much.