A Journey Update

Dooooon't stop Beeeeeliiiieeevvinnnn'!! Hold on to that feeeellllllliiiiiiinnn'! (You have to imagine that this is actually being sung by Steve Perry as it is in my head for this to work you know!)

So the Journey To Better Health.

Well the first milestone has been met. This past week I finally hit the first goal mark. I am now officially at the weight recommended by my doctor. I have fully committed to going on to my own personal goal that is 7 lbs past the doctor goal.

Wait, did I say 7 pounds??

Oops. I misspoke, becuase as of yesterday I only have 6 pounds left.

Yeah!

I have gone back to my earlier vigilance about keeping track of my calories every day and added in the extra 10 minutes of exercise. That seems to have gotten me over my stall. Not dropping quite as rapidly as in the beginning, but dropping pounds again all the same.

Still have good energy and mood. And the best news of all has to be the clothes.

Oh the clothes.

I finally had to break down and go get some clothes to get me through the rest of the summer weather here. (Seeing as I am in Kansas summer weather could end next week or possibly sometime in mid-November.) I was shocked by the final results when I went to try on clothes. I have been wearing things anywhere from 2-3 sizes too large. Which explains why belts were not very helpful. I barely held it together in the dressing room. What was even more exciting is that the final size was almost loose. Not enough to go one more down, but I am suspicious that once I drop the last 6 that I may be one more size down. Especially if I keep up with some of the toning stuff I am doing.

I have renewed my love for buying clothes. Oh my sweet baby Jesus I have renewed it. Clothing stores are once again my Mecca. So many pretty choices. So many.....

However I will have to keep myself in check. While it is good for me to be slimmer, that is not a good state of being for my bank account.

Let's get random

I have no solid unifying theme for this post. It has been a while since I have done a Randomosity post so I figure....what the hell?

#2 figured how to make armpit farts this weekend. She can also do back of the knee farts.(Is there a name for that part of the body? Kneepit? I tell you this is the kind of thing that keeps me awake at night.) We are now discussing when and where it is appropriate to make such noises. Good times indeed.

How 'bout this healthcare reform? I have not been following it too closely because it makes my head spin and I figure why would I purposely raise my blood pressure? My barely informed thoughts you ask? In a nutshell...I don't think we will see true reform and I am pretty certain that it is the fault of greedy insurance companies. This makes me very sad. Almost more sad than angry. Almost.

Did I tell you that we now have a kitten? Yup. Cat number 3. We are apparently running an animal refuge here at Chez Babble. Why a 3rd kitty? Because EMILY posted a link about overcrowding at a local shelter and I am a giant sucker is the short version. Yes Emily I am still placing full blame on you. The kitten's name is Penelope. She is a tiny sweet little Calico Kitty. Ooh! I can do a full post with pictures later!

I am feeling less irritated at work. That is nice. A small raise and the return of A WHOLE HOUR of paperwork time has helped. Helped some apparently, seeing as I am not opposed to making snarky comments about the management's "generosity" on the paperwork end. The raise was nice, and given the current state of the economy, world, job market, etc. I feel extremely grateful to be in a position to have gotten an unplanned raise in the middle of the year. But the paperwork hour made me laugh. (We used to get 8 hours blocked off and many was the week that barely covered what needed to be done.)

I bought some new clothes last weekend. I figured I could not wait until winter as I originally planned when I had two incidents where I was running and my pants nearly fell off, and my decision was cemented when I was able to pull off a pair of denim capri pants without undoing the zipper and button. My current size is one I have not seen since a few glorious months post-partum with #1. (So that would be nearly 12 years for those keeping track.) I might have gotten a little teary in the dressing room. I might have gotten really excited that the new size was such that it won't take much to go down one more either. I am trying to come to terms with the feelings of shallowness that accompany my elation over this very respectable jean size. I am doing MARVELOUSLY overcoming by the way. I am trying to keep my urge to buy lots of fun new clothes under control. This is difficult.

Have any of you watched the show Coupling? It is a BBC comedy and by God it is hilarious. I strongly suggest checking it out. You can watch it instantly on Netflix if you are a member. Seriosuly. As soon as you are done reading and commenting on this post I want you to go immediately to Netflix and start watching. If you don't belong to Netflix join. Now.

What are you waiting for?

Can't Spill The Beans But I Wanna

I have some exciting stuff brewing here at Chez Babble.

I really REALLY want to write about it, but I am not ready to make it quite so public just yet.

Soon though.

In other news, school is back in session, and we are adjusting back to that way of life once more. I am trying not to be emotional yet about it being #1's last year of elementary school. It does not help when BH shares bits of trivia like, "Hey! Did you know that this is the last year the girls will be in the same school together until #1 is a senior in high school."

I'm not saying my eyes got leaky at that one, but they were extra watery for a few minutes.

#1 is definitely presenting with some pre-teen moody issues. I may change my references to her from #1 to Moody Blue.

Oy.

This is challenging my patience in a tremendous way. Adolescents are delicate creatures. They must be handled with skill. My skills in this area are dull and weak right now. I am having to do much stopping and thinking before reacting.

Just like baby and toddlerhood this will pass. Right?

RIGHT?

Somebody throw me a bone here.

Visions of what is to come?

School starts Thursday.

#1 has just been diagnosed with Strep.

Can I reiterate that SCHOOL HAS NOT EVEN STARTED YET?

This does not bode well people. Not at all.

Lucky

So last night I dreamt that I was on some kind of a dance team for a grocery store that we used to frequent when we lived in California.

The store and the dance team were named Lucky.

The uniform for the dance team were tight white t-shirts with Lucky and some shamrocks done in sparkly green crystals. This shirt was paired with green shorts. (This part was very vivid.)

I seemed to be the odd-woman out on the team. I never had the right outfit, my shoes were too dirty, I was late, my hair and make-up were below par. The mothers and other girls on the team would whisper and laugh at me not-so-much behind my back. It was never really clear in the dream if I was an adult or a teenager again.

I felt like I had this dream before recently, but am not sure.

I am sure that I hope this dream does not make an appearance again. It is not terribly fun to live out a high school situation in dreams that was far worse than anything I experienced as a teenager.

Of course I can not seem to keep from asking myself what this dream is about and where are it's themes coming from.

Not that I believe in that sort of thing. Mostly.

Stalled

I haven't posted about my Journey to Better Health for a while.

I know you are all beside yourselves with wonder about how things are going.

They are in a word somewhat....stalled.

I seem to have hit a plateau here in the past month or so.

As it stands right now I have lost a total of 18 pounds. I have 4 more to go to hit the weight recommended by my doctor.

I think the stall started on vacation. I did not watch what I ate. I did not eat a ton, but my choices were frequently of the cheeseburger, pizza realm. (C'mon! I was in New York! How am I supposed to go there and NOT eat a slice. Or maybe two. Not at the same sitting however!)

Our hotel did not seem to have a gym, so I did not exercise as I have been. I did however do a MASSIVE amount of walking. This kept me from gaining while on the trip.

I think the problem has been that since returning I have not been quite as vigilant about the eating as have been the past few months. I have lost a little, but am nowhere near what I have been losing. I continue to exercise as I have been the entire time.(Except for this week. I had to take a few days off. I had some issues with my knee, of the limping miserably variety. Rest and Motrin seem to have done the trick. Thank goodness, I was getting worried!)

So methinks it is time to shake things up a bit. I guess I have to go back to my vigilant calorie management, and I think we need to make some changes to the ol' exercise routine. I am going to add an extra 10 minutes a day. That may not seem like much, I know. I have some DVD's that have very intense short cardio/toning workouts. It is like a 30 minute work out in 10. Did I mention that they are intense? Ohh those DVDs are from hell. I hope that this will help get things moving again.

I also have almost maybe definitely decided to go for it and get down to what I consider to be my best weight. It is not that far past what the Dr. recommended and I really like the idea of having a cushion.

Now on to some more positive things. I am soon going to have to buy some new clothes. I have a lot that is really way too big. A few things that are absolutely past wearing any longer, and more that will be that way soon. That is pretty exciting.

I am also really happy about how elevated my mood has become. This has been a pleasant and unexpected bonus. I have frequently felt very irritable, cranky, and out of sorts over the past 6 months to a year. I have had a few points in time where I began to think that it might be time to seek some uhh..professional assistance. I don't feel that way any longer. I am glad. It is no fun to feel eternally irritable. No fun atall.

It is interesting to hear people's reactions to my weight loss. It is pretty noticeable now I guess. I have had many people say that they never would have guessed that I needed to lose 20 plus pounds. Which is good I suppose. Not sure what I did to disguise it, but whatever it was worked.

So the journey continues. I hope that in another month or so I can share that goal one (Dr. recommended weight) has been met.

I think I need to reward myself with something when this is all done. I have a few ideas, but would be interested in your thoughts. How would you reward yourself for such an accomplishment?

And no.. I do not plan to take myself out to an expensive calorie-laden meal.

But maybe some ice cream.

Sometimes it is Good to Clean Out the Desk

BH and I are cleaning out, purging, shredding things, and generally organizing our office space at home.

In the process I came across a poem that BH sent me for Valentine's Day in 2005. If I recall we spent that Valentine's day and evening apart because he had rehearsal. To make up for his absence he e-mailed me the following poem. Enjoy. Those of you familiar with Napoleon Dynamite will find particular enjoyment.

A Love Poem
(in the sweet style of Kip Dynamite)

What would I do without you?
Where would I be without you?
How could I see wtihout you?

Yes, I love Heroclix,
But it would be better with you in the mix
But I still love Heroclix

What would I do without you?
I often think about you.
And never would doubt you.

Our love is bigger than a house,
And for your love I'd joust,
And then we could live in Taos.

Where would I be without you?
Among my favorite things I count you.
To read my comics I allow you.

If ever our loves should ever break,
I'll cry and hen a scene I'll make,
And this is my heart you can take.

How could I see without you?
I feel so free around you.
The birds and bees have found you.

Who knows where love comes from?
But our love will never be done,
And we will always have fun.

What would I do without you?
Where would I be without you?
How could I see without you?

What would I do without you?
Where would I be without you?
How could I see without you?

Now how can I not feel special after being the recipient of such amazing poetry?

Feel free to be jealous.

My Summer Vay-Cay Days 1-2

This year BH and I decided to go crazy and take a vacation BY OURSELVES. As in NO CHILDREN. We have not been on a vacation sans children since..weeellll....since we had children.
As I stated a few times in other recent posts, I was a little twitchy about being away from my babies for so long, but of course it all worked out fine.

I am very glad that we made our first trip to New York without the children. By the end of the first full day we really understood just how different the trip would have been had they been along. Not that it would have been an awful vacation or anything, it just would have been very different.

This post may not be very exciting for many of you. I am ok with that. Above all else this blog is my scrapbook, journal, whatever you want to call it of my life. Sometimes I gotta do some posts that are mostly for me. This one and those to follow are precisely that. However you are of course welcome to peruse my scrapbook at your leisure.

Now let's get down to business.

Day one of our vacation actually took place only an hour from home in Good ol' KC. As anyone who reads this blog or for that matter anyone who had a conversation with me over the past month or so knows that I had to take a big licensing exam this month. I decided (why I will NEVER know) to take it right before we left of vacation. So the morning of day one, was spent test taking and TEST ROCKING. Yes sirree I rocked that bad boy. So to celebrate BH and I went to see the first of TWO movies that day.

You read that right. We went to the movie theater TWICE in ONE DAY. I am lucky if I go to see a movie twice in a year these days. So let me tell you this seemed like the highest level of decadence. We first saw Away We Go. GREAT movie. Go see it. You won't be sorry. We went to the Fork and Dine theater for that one. They bring you food while you watch the movie. I so love that. The Fork and Dine theater is nice, but it ain't nothin' compared to the Cinema Suites. OOOohh how I do love the Cinema Suites. If I had my way we would see EVERY movie there. The Cinema Suites are only for adults, they have extremely comfortable leather recliners, and again they bring you food while you eat! All seats are reserved and the theater only holds about 40 people. I love love love going there. The best part is that the tickets are $20, but of that $20, $10 is a voucher for food. We saw The Proposal there. Enjoyable, but really you can probably wait for it to come out on DVD. Unless you have access to the Cinema Suites. Then go. See whatever they are playing. It won't matter if the movie is crap. LEATHER RECLINING SEATS AND FOOD PEOPLE!!! No more needs to be said.

The next day we got up at the top of the ass crack of dawn to catch our flight to NYC. We wanted to get there early. We did get in around 11:00 AM. Unfortunately for us we were the last people to be dropped off of a very full and CREEPILY quiet shuttle van. Man. No one said a word the entire trip and it was long. We were on that bad boy for about an hour and a half. I had to practically bite through my tongue not to be a complete geeky tourist. "Look! Times Square!" "Look! The Empire State Building!" "LOOK! Rockefeller Center!" All these things had to be said in my head.

By the time we got to the hotel we were more than sick of sitting and starving.

Let's get to some pictures to tell the rest of the day's story shall we?

Happy BH eating a Shack Burger. A good burger cures crankies every time!

Our first meal took place at the Shake Shack which was conveniently located a few blocks from our hotel. This is apparently a famous joint and the line was long, but apparently only by our Midwestern standards. The burgers and fries were delicious, but the shakes. My GOD the shakes. We were told that they were out of chocolate frozen custard and that nearly sent me into the vapours. However they recommended as an alternative the black and white shake. Oh dear LORD. I never thought I would utter the words, "I am so GLAD they were out of chocolate." But I did and I meant it. That black and white shake was a little cup of heaven let me tell you.

After some lunch it was time to see my good friend ALI, her delicious little boy, and always charming husband. They showed us around their hood and treated us to a delicious dinner, and some powerful Oprah style Sangria. The conversation and company were thoroughly delightful. We got to spend some time with DAN too who was fortunately able to join us. A very pleasant evening to be sure, and a great way to start our NY experience.

A rare sighting of Missy and her BH. This was in front of the Intrepid located on Hudson Bay.

I regret that I did not get a picture of the view from Ali's balcony because it is quite a sight to behold.

Ali and Dan escorted us back to the hotel and showed us how to navigate the subway. They were gracious enough to indulge our tourist moments.

Wow! Two pictures of me in one post. This is unheard of. But it is not every evening that I find myself in Times Square with such a handsome man!

Thus ended our first two days of vacation. By the time this photo was taken, I in particular was beginning to fade after two very early mornings and two very crappy nights of sleep. Our hotel bed was soooo comfy.

Coming soon....

"MY SUMMER VAY-CAY DAYS 3-4!!!!"

Don't miss it!

Back to err..uhh..somewhat regularly scheduled blog posts soon

Hey there!

Just a few quick updates.

First and foremost...I passed my LCPC exam!!! Hooray! Now I just have to send the KSBSRB another fistful of cash to get my new license. Then decide on my next move, but that is a post for another day.

I have been on vacation in New York City all week long. There is much to share, but I have walked about 3,000 miles over the past four days and I am T-I-R-E-D. I also have a plane to catch in the AM so will say night night for now.

However as a teaser I will let you in on my favorite sighting of the trip.

I believe the award must go to the man wearing nothing but a neon yellow g-string sunning himself in the Brooklyn Bridge Park.

That kind of fabulous stuff just does not happen in my part of the Midwest friends.

Mores the pity.

Bi-Polar

I believe that my response to my upcoming clinical exam is rapid cycling Bi-Polar disorder.

What seems like half a million times a day I go from thinking, "I can totally pass this exam. NOOOOooo problem." to "Oh MY GOD! I know nothing! How do I keep my job? My license! I will never pass this exam even if I studied every minute for the next six months!"

Good times. SUPER good times.

I have talked before about my uhhh..ahem...nervous tendencies.

Since I started this blog I don't recall being in any exam situations. So I am here to tell you that my level of anxiety where tests are concerned make my other "nervous tendencies" look like I am strolling happily in the park on a splendid summer's day.

It. Is. Ugly.

Generally I obsess for several days..then a day or two before the test I have a crying melt-down...then the morning of the test I am very nauseated, unable to eat, and have major stomach upset.

Not. Fun.

I do somehow manage to pull it together and take the exam. Which is good.

Hopefully this will be the last time I have to take an exam of this magnitude and importance.

Unless I decide to go back to school to become certified to be a school counselor.

That is still on the table.

Maybe this test experience will cure me of that idea.

Now I should call it a night.

Sigh.

Ca-rrrazzy Eights

My friend Lindsey tagged me a while back with this lil' meme. Seeing as how I have been slow to respond to the tag AND since this seemed infinitely more fun than continuing my preparations for the NCMHCE here we go...

8 Things I am looking forward to...
1-having my big test out of the way
2-passing my test
3-adding the credentials LCPC to my name (anyone sense a theme here?)
4-BH and my trip to NYC
5-Spending time with my good friends who live in NY
6-losing these last 6 or 13 pounds
7-picking tomatoes out of my garden
8-family vacation to Florida over spring break or summer. Whenever is fine with me!

8 Things I did yesterday...
1-exercised
2-laid around reading in bed
3-studied for my test
4-worried about failing my test
5-played freeze tag at the pool with my hubby and kids
6-ate pizza and sort of watched a movie with my hubby and kids
7-checked Facebook more often than I should.
8-stayed up too late reading "American Wife" by Curtis Sittenfeld

8 things I wish I could do...

1-work part time
2-be more patient
3-enjoy exercise more
4-rock a bikini again
5-visit the beach every year
6-pay more attention to political issues
7-refinish the basement
8-hang out more often with my chick friends

8 shows I watch...

1-The Office
2-30 Rock
3-Grey's Anatomy
4-Ugly Betty
5-Mad Men
6-My Name is Earl
7-The Soup
8-Just about anything they show on HGTV

OK. That's my crazy eights. Hope you enjoy. Feel free to do this on your blog.

Adios!

It's Official..I am a Total Nutjob.

I have been waiting waiting waiting..then waiting some more to get confirmation from the KSBSRB, the President, Congress, God, Buddah, and other various important figures since MAY 15 saying that I am approved to take the NCMHCE. (Test I have to take for my clinical licesnse.) FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY today I got the last of the confirmations needed and was given access to the site where I sign up for my test date. I will be taking the exam on July 6 at 9AM. That is just about 9 days away.

(Excuse me, but I need to recover from my fainting spell/panic attack)

Wanna know what is 10 days away???

Our NY vacation.

Ayup. I am taking the test the day before we leave for vacation. There are reasons why I chose to do this.

I can't seem to recall any of them now however.....

I have been preparing for the exam since the first of the month, for once having a positive outlook that things would go my way. However I have backed off the studying over the past week because I had begun to despair that I was going to hear back from the NBCC (national board for certified counselors) in time to register for the July exam.

Oy vey.

I think it is safe to say that by the time next weekend comes around I will be a "Hot Mess" as the kids are saying these days.

I think preparing for a major test, getting ready for my first vacation away from my children, dealing with all that is involved in getting work stuff settled so that I can be gone for a week, equals the perfect recipe for the "hot mess."

I see a crying, anxiety ridden meltdown in my near future.

Now where did I put that positive outlook? I know I left it around here somewhere.....

Trying to embrace Babette

Well I am officially about two months in to the Journey to Better Health.

I have lost 13 pounds so far. 9 more to go to reach my doctor's recommendation for target weight. 16 more for My recommendation for target weight.

It is up in the air as to whether or not I will try to reach what I have felt for a loooooong time is my target weight. I may see how I feel at the doctor's recommendation and leave it at that. I may say, "Hell I have gone this far what is another 7 pounds?" Those few (okay maybe "few" is not totally accurate, but this is my journey so I can call it like I want to!)extra pounds of weight loss would give me a cushion so to speak. For what I am not sure, but I like the IDEA of a cushion. Cushions are...cushy, they give you a sense of support.

I guess this is getting easier. Although I did have to get a slap of reality over the last couple of weeks. I thought that I could just keep track in my head of what I was eating and I might have had a couple of days where I just said "screw it" and ate more than I should have of stuff that I shouldn't. A creep up in poundage whipped me back in to shape, and I got rid of the extra plus some pretty quickly. I still dread eating out. BH has also started watching his caloric intake via the same website I am using and that helps too. I no longer feel like stabbing him with a fork as I watch him eat whatever the hell he wants to.

HOWEVER. I jokingly(ish) said to him that once he starts tracking his calories he will lose 10 pounds in one week. About four days in to calorie watching and he DROPS 4 POUNDS WITHOUT EVEN EXERCISING REGULARLY. I might have accidentally called him an asshole out loud when he said that. I didn't mean to. Things just slip out sometimes. I really don't think he is an asshole. Far from it. It is just the hungry jealous woman in me rearing her ugly beastly head.

I normally avoid full length mirrors because they tend to make me sad, but today I decided to have good look to see if I could tell any difference in how I look. I could. However upon examination it became apparent to me that a portion of my midsection that I not so lovingly refer to as "Babette" may not be resolved through weight loss alone. She may not even be resolved with exercise. I can not say that for certain as I have not been engaging in any kind of toning exercise. That will come later, I just can't do more right now. But today for the first time EVER in my life, I momentarily considered uhh..surgical enhancement, or more accurately surgical reduction.

Babette may only go away with the use of surgical implements. I am not fully accepting of this idea as of yet seeing as I have not tried any toning techniques. Even if those don't work, I don't know that I could bring myself to do a.........(gasp).....tummy tuck.

I did weigh the option for a few seconds tho.

I think a far less radical and less painful option would be to try and become friends with Babette. Accept her. Embrace her. Take her out on the town. Introduce her to my friends.

Now where did I put that Pilates DVD.....

Upcoming Travels

Ohhhh the Babble Home is abuzz with travel plans.

BH and I are headed to New York in just a few short weeks. Our first vacation sans children. The children will be living it up with Grammy and Poppie for the first part of the week in Omaha to see the zoo. Then they are transferred to Grandma and Grandpa for the remainder of the week so they can motor out to Branson. They will come back spoiled and need retraining to be sure.

So far BH and I have secured tickets to see Billy Elliot, and have plans to try and see a Mets game and have some quality time with our dear friend Dan. We also have plans to visit my very dear friend Ali, so that I can love on her sweet adorable boy as part of my coping plan for missing my own children. I also hope that maybe she and I can sneak away to do something fun for at least a short while with no children or boys. Maybe we'll have to see what she and the menfolk say I suppose.

Other than that we have talked about stuff we would like to do, but have not nailed down much more than the abovementioned plans.

It is kind of funny. Ordinarily I am super scheduled and organized and have a neurotic need to plan most of each day. However when I am on vacation, I can totally roll with it and am fine nay prefer to go without a set plan.

However....

BH goes in to uber planning mode when we are on vacation. He wants everything nailed down and scheduled. He wants to make sure we "get everything in." Nothing wrong with that. As long as I don't have to get up early or keep an eye on my watch.

This could be why he does not get quite as much pleasure from a beach oriented vacation as I do.

Here is my "schedule" we our vacation destination involves a trip to the beach

1. Get there
2. Lay out my towel
3. Lay ON my towel
4. Nap
5. Get in the water
6. Nap
7. Get in the water
8. Reapply sunscreen
9. Repeat above until dusk. Optional sand castle building can be thrown in if you so desire. Reading a trashy novel is also a good ingredient to throw in as well.

That schedule works for BH for all of about an hour I think.

However he can hike in the mountains for days. I am good for only a few hours.

It takes all kinds I suppose.

So I am very excited about our trip.

Once we get back.... we start to save for our next vacation..........

DISNEY WORLD Spring Break 2010.

Yee Haw.

Wet Paint

Hiya.

Been painting again.

Tired.

Must post because it has been a week.

Please forgive short boring post.

One with pictures of painting projects 2 and 3 coming soon.

I know...you are all about to soil yourselves with anticipation.

Night. Night.

Need Sleepy.

Neverending Quest

I often feel that I am on a neverending quest.

What is it I am searching for?

I search for what all families with children and two full time working parents seek.

More time.

I have felt for several months now that my weekends are anything but restful, fun, or restorative. In fact I feel like the weekends are when I go into overtime to my second job, that being a domestic engineer, keeper of the house, do-er of the laundry, chore monger, whatever you want to call it.

With the change in expectation at my job, I really need some restorative time, and it just ain't been happening.

I have been pondering how to help my weekends be a bit more restful and fun for several weeks now.

This is not an easy problem to solve. See I can not simply give up the tasks and chores that have been taking up the weekends. There is no choice but to reassign some things to another day or evening to be more precise.

That is not excatly something that fills my heart with happiness.

Seeing as how by the time I get home, we have dinner and take care of the regular evening stuff I do not have much left over for anything else.

BUT... I have decided to suck it up and try to be more productive in the after work hours during the week.

This week I moved doing the laundry up a few days in an effort to get it done before Saturday.

This week I was successful and man it has been GREAT. Today I was able to go places and do things without fretting or feeling guilty that the laundry sits waiting for me.

Now this week I did not have the full loads I would typically have seeing as how a full week had not passed since I completed the laundy. So it was really quite easy.

This coming week may be another story.

I have to say while I have enjoyed my laundry free weekend, I have felt a bit off kilter, always feeling like there is something I should be doing.

Do I did.

Went swimming guilt free.

It was ass-puckering cold in that pool.

But I did not care.

Neither did the kids. At what age do you develop the ability to tell whether it is cold or hot? I do not recall this from child development class.

So my first attempts at creating a restorative weekend were a success.

How do you other working parents create restorative time?

Or am I just fooling myself that this is do-able?

(If I am fooling myself please lie to me because I am not ready to accept the alternative at this point.)

I know you have been sitting on the edge of your seats

Remember about a month ago when I was rambling on about my visit to the doctor and the discovery of my high cholesterol levels and need to drop some poundage?

Well it has been a little over a month now and I just KNEW that you have been thinking, "Gee I wonder how Missy is doing on her Journey to Better Health?"

Your wish is my command.

One month and a few days in to THE JOURNEY and I am o-ficially down 9 pounds.

Not too shabby.

I have been exercising pretty religiously. I think I skipped three days out of the last month plus. Once because of cat trauma, and two days for illness. I have been trying to exercise for half an hour every day. That is 7 days a week people.

As far as diet goes, I am really not doing anything fancy. I found a free online calorie counter, put in my goal weight and the date I would like to reach it, the computer calculated how many calories I need to consume to reach that goal. I enter the food I eat and try to keep it at or below that number every day. It has been eye opening to see how many calories are in something like a breadstick. It has helped me get my portions more realistic and I certainly see now how my ignorance about how many calories foods contain helped get me in this mess.

Overall it has not been too bad or crazy making. I am not depriving myself. I have had pizza, and an occasional cheeseburger and fries. Now I eat less of those when I have them, and try to keep a low calorie morning and afternoon if I know I am going to indulge in that manner. I am also putting a big emphasis on eating the recommended daily fruits and veggies.

Now I have to remember to keep an eye on the cholesterol thing. In reviewing my progress, I have discovered that I have lost some sight of the need to control my cholesterol, and focused more on the calorie reduction and weight loss. Need to make sure that even though I can eat pizza and cheeseburgers occasionally and still drop pounds, they are not good choices to reduce the cholesterol and need to be very occasional foods.

I don't feel that I am obsessing as much now, and that is helpful. I tend to overestimate how much I have consumed at times and leave myself hungry at a meal in my effort to be disciplined, but do also enjoy that I can have an extra snack when that happens. It's like a little present.

The only thing I am really struggling with is when we go out to eat. I have done well choosing healthy options, but I find myself getting irritable and sometimes even angry when I watch others at the table consuming how ever much they want of whatever they want (read what I want!) Now I am not saying that I have had thoughts of stabbing someone with a fork as I watch them gobble up a plate of fries while I slowly chew my lettuce, but it might have crossed my mind.

So that is my progress for now. I know that takes a huge load off of the 4 of you who read this. You can carry on now.

What?? It only took me 11 years!!

As of September of this year it will be 11 years since I completed my Masters Degree.

This week I FINALLY completed the requirements necessary to get my clinical license.

I have had a regular old license as a professional counselor, the CLINICAL license means I jumped through hoops for almost three years and passed another test. It also means I can practice independently.

So why has it taken me soooooo looonnng?

Weelll..

I got my degree in California, and Kansas licensing requirements are different and I had to take 2 more classes. That took a while because I was busy having babies and trying to work.

My first clinical supervisor died and I did not have verification of hours/supervision/etc.

I took a hiatus from clinical work to be a state employee/office monkey. (That was a really bad decision by the way.)

After my hiatus I worked at a job for 8 months that kept promising, but never followed through with clinical supervision.

It took me a several months in to my current job to get my shit together and start the process all over again.

At any rate it is done now. The application is turned in. I paid an outrageous application fee, that will soon be followed by paying MORE outrageous fees for the exam and then the actual license.

Whew. I will be glad to have the rest of this process signed, sealed, and delivered.

Then I have to figure out what my next educational/career goal will be. I feel naked without one.

How Do You Make This Decision?

My 14 year old cat is not well.

Her kidneys have been failing, she has had seizures, and may or may not have had a stroke or is drunk on ammonia in her system from the failure to produce urine.

For almost a week we have been giving her subcutaneous fluids, watching, waiting, and worrying.

Yesterday we took her to the vet who told us that her level of functioning right now is about the best we are going to get. He told us that if we are ok with how she is right now we can keep on as we are. He said if we are at anytime ready to let her go that is fine too.

I was really hoping for a more definitive answer because, of course, I do not want to be the one who makes the call to end her life. Neither does BH. This is not exactly something we can decide using the old, "nose goes" or rock, paper, scissors.

She has seemed to improve slightly, and that has caused us to question what we should do. We do not however know if she can sustain these improvements without a lot of extraordinary measures on our part.

There is no question that her quality of life is not what it once was. However there is a question as to whether or not it is diminished to the point that we need to let her go.

Of course complicating the matter is our own desire to keep her around. At this point I really can not say how much of this waffling is my own stuff, desires, and dread of making such a tough call.

I do know this much...

I am tired of trying to figure it all out. Tired of crying over it. Tired of worrying about it.

Just tired. And sad.

So very very sad.

Blerg and a Twist I did not want.

I had hoped to have time to do a better post, but nearly all of the 8 million children scheduled to see me for therapy came to their appointments this week, we are very fearful that our senior citizen kitty is dying, AND we are completing #2's somewhat extreme room makeover this weekend. So between painting, making one thousand trips to the vet, giving the cat subcutaneous fluids at home in between vet visits, and generally being exhausted from everyday business has left me little time, desire, or energy to blog.

Hopefully next week will be better. A little less busy at work, good news from the vet about my sweet old lady cat, and the makeover will be complete.

Maybe then I can do a fun photo filled post of the big orange makeover.

Yup...that's right. We are painting #2's room o-r-a-n-g-e.

SHE could not be more excited.

I am reserving comment and opinion until it is a done deal.

I AM however admitting to my twitchiness about this color scheme.