Thursday, October 27, 2005
I don't find myself home alone very often. I guess technically it happens more often since I changed jobs, because I can do work from home. That isn't quite the same to me.
Thursday has become the day that I work late to accomodate those families who just can not meet before 5 PM. This particular Thursday my beloved opted to go ahead and feed the children and make the weekly trek to the grocery store without waiting for me to come home to join them, in the hopes that he will get done earlier. So I found myself with the opportunity to choose wherever I wanted to go for dinner. (Tonight it was Bo Bo's, I guess I needed some grease in my life.) I got to eat and at the same time catch up with my internet browsing. Our house rule for dinner time is that everyone eats at the table together, no TV, toys, books, etc. Music is allowed, but we try to keep things as distraction free as possible so that we can hear about everyone's day, tell silly stories, make plans, all that good family stuff. We do that whether all four of us or home, or it is just two or three of us. It usually makes for a rather pleasant time.
Now there are times when I really wish for those precious few occasions when I am home alone. I think about what I could do, blah, blah, blah.
Once I actually get them they are always disappointing in some ways. Some how I can't seem to remember all those things I wanted to do, and find myself just hoping everyone comes home soon.
I guess my feelings could be considered good or bad. Good of course that I love my family and want to spend time with them. Not so good in that some might think that I have have lost my sense of self, and that taking time for myself is critical to being a "good" wife and mother. (A phrase that makes me CRINGE) Even though it makes me cringe I devote a lot of thought to whether or not I am being a "good" one. Everyone has to have something to be neurotic about. That concern happens to be one of...some...things that I am neurotic about. (Beloved Husband may not reply to this statement on the grounds that his home life may suffer if he does!)
Just some thoughts....
Now I must go and press my nose against the door and watch for my honeys to come home.
Wait....there will be groceries to unload and put away...maybe I will just pretend that I fell asleep.